Critique for 1lMaM

First off, I really like your story so far, it has a nice bright fantasy vibe, like summer fantasy if that makes sense? Anyway I really enjoyed it.

Generally I think you can cut down on your descriptions, as yours are quite wordy and it distracts from the story a bit, and other than that here are some more specific critiques:

But he takes me there anyway, and it’s probably the only hotel in town.

The windows that seemed dated from the outside are perfectly polished, the clean reception bench made of white marble.

The second part of this sentence took me a couple reads to understand, I suggest adding and ‘and’ after the comma to make the sentence easier to understand.

The receptionist laughs, his hearty chuckle echoing across the room..

Here, you repeat the fact the receptionist laughs twice, which I think is unnecessary, I'd suggest cutting the ‘laughs’, since ‘hearty chuckle’ is more descriptive, and that way you're not repeating yourself. (Of course, you'd have to rephrase it a little, since “The receptionist his hearty chuckle echoing across the room” doesn't make much sense)

I choose one that plays soft, ambient music.

What does she choose? It's not quite clear, since the previous sentence is about pillows (which could be what you're referring to, but if so please clarify)

I almost feel like an object myself, constant and calm.

I love this sentence, it really stands out to me and I better understand how magic makes her feel

I scan the note, heart pounding.

Why is her heart pounding? Is she expecting it to be bad? Is she surprised? Scared that it showed up? It doesn't feel like it fits what's going on.

I find a pen, writing help who? on the back of the note, hoping they’ll reply.

I honestly have no idea what this means. The note had nothing to do with helping anyone and this was very confusing to me.

Why should I trust someone who came into my room at night and left me a note instead of talking to me?

This is an inconsistency, as earlier you said the note flew into her room on a breeze

My first stop is the tired outside of the hotel.

I'm guessing this is a typo? What's a tired?

“How did you go today?”

Another typo, it should be ‘do’ not ‘go’

The road winds and curls like spaghetti.

This made me giggle, I honestly love it.

Overall, I really liked your story, and I feel like it has a lot of potential to be an even longer one if you ever wanted to revisit it!

fire_alchemist wrote:

Shadow_The_Hedgehogs wrote:

Just curious, which ship do you guys like best?

if you allow me to say, wave cyclone, tho it isnt a ship but its some king of boat…

but if you allow me to speak of character ships… i´ll just say sonamy and there is another one for which ppl would start looking at me wierd if i said it

like what…

Platypus_WKeyboard wrote:

HexagonWorld wrote:

Platypus_WKeyboard wrote:

HexagonWorld wrote:

Platypus_WKeyboard wrote:

HexagonWorld wrote:

Uh… wait what does Sam Lane want besides freeing Metropolis and how is he getting it?

Hmm. Maybe he wants to prove how good of a general he is?

What gets Metropolis free and why do Lois and Clark have to go against him to free it in their own way?

Because he's going way “militaristic” with it. Or something similar?

He wants to nuke it with Kryptonian technology at the Fortress?

That'd be interesting.

The only issue is where in the world did he get that authority? Because even if we make up some fake law, Lex would want to be the one to press that button and “save the country” and there is no way he's letting some general get all the credit. And Lex is trapped alongside everyone.

ThatOneWeirdDude wrote:

AU-Ratcatcher wrote:

ThatOneWeirdDude wrote:

AU-Ratcatcher wrote:

ThatOneWeirdDude wrote:

quote]
Relapse is amazing wdym. Encore and everything after Recovery are mid or worse

Relapse is absolute trash

It isnt but whatever

85% of it is just him rapping disgusting, violent, obnoxious, and offensive lyrics. I get that’s his whole thing, but the whole album is just extremely unpleasant and not very creative. There are few standouts, like 3AM and Crack a Bottle, but most of Relapse is just… not good

Why do you even listen to eminem then.

ya. if you hate his whole persona, don't listen to him. its that easy. I like Eminem, and the only times I really can't listen to him is in Kim, and cleaning out my closet

foundyoufaker wrote:

Shadow_The_Hedgehogs wrote:

fire_alchemist wrote:

Shadow_The_Hedgehogs wrote:

Does anyone know where on the internet I can watch Sonic Prime season 3 without watching on Netflix and without signing up for anything? Ik season 1-2 and ep 1-2 of s3 are on youtube, but where else can they be found? (i also know u can watch it on Dailymotion, but it's blocked for me)

bro, let me tell you, what you are looking for is piracy, which is ilegal, and not the good kind of piracy thats in a gray legal area, i mean actual bad 100% piracy, no gray area, no literal stealing… so just so you know, good luck mate

-_- im never gonna end up watching season 3

You can try to look for reaction videos on YouTube of people reacting to it, but that's just about it in the legal suggestions. Lol, Imma have to watch reaction videos to watch the Knuckles show.

I have done that, they don't acutally show the video, just the reaction. Believe me, I have thought of everything legal I can do already

HexagonWorld wrote:

Platypus_WKeyboard wrote:

HexagonWorld wrote:

Platypus_WKeyboard wrote:

HexagonWorld wrote:

Uh… wait what does Sam Lane want besides freeing Metropolis and how is he getting it?

Hmm. Maybe he wants to prove how good of a general he is?

What gets Metropolis free and why do Lois and Clark have to go against him to free it in their own way?

Because he's going way “militaristic” with it. Or something similar?

He wants to nuke it with Kryptonian technology at the Fortress?

That'd be interesting.

HexagonWorld wrote:

macandcheeseking wrote:

HexagonWorld wrote:

Platypus_WKeyboard wrote:

HexagonWorld wrote:

Uh… wait what does Sam Lane want besides freeing Metropolis and how is he getting it?

Hmm. Maybe he wants to prove how good of a general he is?

What gets Metropolis free and why do Lois and Clark have to go against him to free it in their own way?

Maybe he's being funded by Lex whose using the tech to free it in sketchy ways or something?

He's part of the US Military, he's being funded by taxpayer money.

I see, hmm Maybe he uses kryptonian tech the military secretly received by Luthor as he's running for president to get their support?, probably not, maybe Sam is being manipulated to make the situation worse? it's freed but something else happens to the city

There are various ways. You can:

• Get your project added to the “Propose Projects to be Featured” studio and it’ll have a chance to get featured (Hard)
  
• Get your project curated by the current Front Page Curator (Hard)
  
• Get your project in the current Scratch Design Studio (Easy)
  
• Get your project loved / remix a LOT. (Hard)
  

Keep in mind that your project will only be on the last three for a short amount of time.

Hi! So I'm making a Mega Turrican inspired game (Mega Turrican is a run and gun game) and, I'm having trouble with enemy clone health. I made a script witch was this:

when I start as a clone
forever
if <touching [ Shot Type] ?> then  
if <not <(Current Weapon) = [Flamethrower]>> then 
change [Health] by (([Shot Power] of [Shoot Type]) * (-1)) 
else
change [Health] by (([Shot Power] of [Shoot Type]) * (-1)) 
repeat (4)
change [Health] by (-1)
wait (1) secs
end
end
end
if <(Health) < [0]> then
delete this clone
end
end

I hope this script explained my problem well!

cactus-cacti wrote:

Horsekatto wrote:

(#9)

Za-Chary wrote:

Horsekatto wrote:

It's mentioning the mlp character. It's pretty obvious it's not about the app. 'Cord was a word before the app was invented.

That unfortunately doesn't really change the fact that the word exists and is commonly referred to as the chat platform (chatform?). This explains/answers why your are running into the filter when you post the lyrics here.

Could I use the song in a project?

You'd have to give credit, which would be hard without naming the song.

The title is Discordant, not 'cord.

I am currently working on Five Nights at Freddy's and I want to make more movies after it, what should I make next?
List:

The Cubic Movie
Rainbow Friends
Poppy Playtime: A Tight Squeeze

Which one of these should I do next? Popular opinion wins.

macandcheeseking wrote:

HexagonWorld wrote:

Platypus_WKeyboard wrote:

HexagonWorld wrote:

Uh… wait what does Sam Lane want besides freeing Metropolis and how is he getting it?

Hmm. Maybe he wants to prove how good of a general he is?

What gets Metropolis free and why do Lois and Clark have to go against him to free it in their own way?

Maybe he's being funded by Lex whose using the tech to free it in sketchy ways or something?

He's part of the US Military, he's being funded by taxpayer money.

AU-Ratcatcher wrote:

ThatOneWeirdDude wrote:

AU-Ratcatcher wrote:

ThatOneWeirdDude wrote:

quote]
Relapse is amazing wdym. Encore and everything after Recovery are mid or worse

Relapse is absolute trash

It isnt but whatever

85% of it is just him rapping disgusting, violent, obnoxious, and offensive lyrics. I get that’s his whole thing, but the whole album is just extremely unpleasant and not very creative. There are few standouts, like 3AM and Crack a Bottle, but most of Relapse is just… not good

Why do you even listen to eminem then.

Platypus_WKeyboard wrote:

HexagonWorld wrote:

Platypus_WKeyboard wrote:

HexagonWorld wrote:

Uh… wait what does Sam Lane want besides freeing Metropolis and how is he getting it?

Hmm. Maybe he wants to prove how good of a general he is?

What gets Metropolis free and why do Lois and Clark have to go against him to free it in their own way?

Because he's going way “militaristic” with it. Or something similar?

He wants to nuke it with Kryptonian technology at the Fortress?

HexagonWorld wrote:

Platypus_WKeyboard wrote:

HexagonWorld wrote:

Uh… wait what does Sam Lane want besides freeing Metropolis and how is he getting it?

Hmm. Maybe he wants to prove how good of a general he is?

What gets Metropolis free and why do Lois and Clark have to go against him to free it in their own way?

Maybe he's being funded by Lex whose using the tech to free it in sketchy ways or something?

i need help with making a high score tracker for my game i tried on my own and it didn't work pls don't just tell me to look at someone else's

say [pls help me!]

HexagonWorld wrote:

Platypus_WKeyboard wrote:

HexagonWorld wrote:

Uh… wait what does Sam Lane want besides freeing Metropolis and how is he getting it?

Hmm. Maybe he wants to prove how good of a general he is?

What gets Metropolis free and why do Lois and Clark have to go against him to free it in their own way?

Because he's going way “militaristic” with it. Or something similar?

Platypus_WKeyboard wrote:

HexagonWorld wrote:

Uh… wait what does Sam Lane want besides freeing Metropolis and how is he getting it?

Hmm. Maybe he wants to prove how good of a general he is?

What gets Metropolis free and why do Lois and Clark have to go against him to free it in their own way?

-Sodium_Test- wrote:

-Telekore- wrote:

I made TWO new object show DVDs on my stepdad's computer. One of them is a DVD with BFB episodes 11 through 30, and the other one is a fixed version of last week's TPOT DVD where TPOT 2 is actually playable.

oh wow! iso? (when you go on his computer again)

I don't know how to make ISO's sorry! ;^ ^
Unless if, somehow, we can make ISO's of DVD-R's (which is the format I burned those on)

30Buntinthomaz wrote:

PyraEthan12 wrote:

Please tell me, what is “ScratchWars” and how is this a bug/glitch?

It's a thing created with clones if you know shorts war its the same thing

This topic wouldn’t fit in “Bugs and Glitches”, although I’m not too sure what it would fit in.

I Am making A musical. And I need help. The musical is about 3 kids trying to find a treasure. I need script writers, song writers, and animators.

Here is a form. Job/portfolio/are you followed to the forum?

i sent a link to the rebel profile in the cabin

Undertalebuffer wrote:

Hello everyone, nivalosha told me I can tell you guys this, he’s almost done with the mettaton fight that will show what the engine can do, he’s just currently working on making the attack formula work and patching out other minor things, he also told me that there is some unique quiz answers so it’s sure to be “One Hell Of A Time” for anyone that plays.

I'm really excited for it to come out!

How can I make a SDS studio? If you know plz answer as soon as you can, I REALLY want to make one.

Agree. While there is a simple workaround, this “previous costume” block is just a QOL thing. We have a “next costume” block. A “previous costume” block just completes the set.

Horsekatto wrote:

(#9)

Za-Chary wrote:

Horsekatto wrote:

It's mentioning the mlp character. It's pretty obvious it's not about the app. 'Cord was a word before the app was invented.

That unfortunately doesn't really change the fact that the word exists and is commonly referred to as the chat platform (chatform?). This explains/answers why your are running into the filter when you post the lyrics here.

Could I use the song in a project?

You'd have to give credit, which would be hard without naming the song.

What about a dark blue (like the tertiary Motion color, #3373CC)? That would probably have contrast.

trideveloper wrote:

Can I storyboard?

ok storyboard a random thingy

TRGreenSpaceman wrote:

(#5)

cactus-cacti wrote:

What do you mean? Importing Ruffle games into a Scratch project?

no, i meant that ruffle flash player could run scratch games.

no, because scratch projects are not made in flash

These first few are all group notes, so at least one of these can apply to anyone reading this from the main cabin <3

Fairy Tales Cabin
You are all so incredible <3 I’m not just saying that, I swear. Every single one of you is amazing, and I loved working through all of our fairy tale realms with you, plus slaying in cabin wars <33 I hope you all had a great time because I know I sure did

Hosts and Leadership
Every last one of you was such a joy to work with, and I’m hopeful that I can be back on the leader team in the future because it’s one of the most fun things I’ve done. Keep up the good work, and I wish you all the best in your futures, wherever they may take you <33

SWC Community
It’s been one heck of a month, and I’m so grateful to all of you for being there. There are definitely people I should have written thank you’s to, but please forgive me and count this for you. This has honestly been one of the hardest times of my life, and I’m so grateful for this beautiful community that’s been there for me the whole time. Give yourselves a pat on the back and take these memories with you into the future <33

The rest of these are all individual people- They're in alphabetical order so you can find yourself and because I'm just like that XD

Alana
Oh my gosh, I have no words. You were the best leader ever and I’m so glad I could co-lead for the first time with you in fairy tales <3 You’re incredibly thoughtful and kind, and I’m so grateful for you and your ability to entertain my crazy ideas- This was one of my favorite sessions ever, and it wouldn’t have been nearly as good without you <3

Amber
As always, you are so fun to talk to! I had a blast getting to co-lead you this session hehe and even though I didn’t get that call during the session (fingers crossed for next week though!), I’m glad you were there. This session was so so fun and I’m really glad you were a part of it and the beautiful chaos that was fairy tales <33

Amethyst
My favorite Aussie XD Ok but seriously you are so smart and funny and responsible- I think you’re brilliant and I love your writing style as well. Thanks for showing me how fun co-leading could be, and of course I loved our Canva Convos™ so much. I hope to see you next session on the leader team again <33

Bellalalalalalalalalalalalalalala BATMAN
You are such an incredible person and I’m so glad I’ve gotten to know you better this session. I know it’s been kind of rough for you, but you are such a resilient and strong person. I love your sense of humor and your writing style (also I love ranting about romance with you)- OH AND school’s finally calming down so I can read adsom more bc it’s so good afjkds

Chloe
First of all, we were so lucky to have you in fairy tales this session <3 I’ve seen you around in the past, but I don’t think we ever talked much, and I’m so glad I did this session. You were so sweet and encouraging to me, and you made me giggle half the time with your chaos and random comments- you also have amazing writing and I hope you stick with it <33

El
I’m so glad you were in my WCG and in fairy tales this session <33 It was truly a pleasure to have you- you’re so funny and smart, and I know we didn’t talk a ton, but the times we did were truly enjoyable <3

Marbles
I know you aren’t usually in cabins as light and fluffy as fairy tales, but I hope you enjoyed this session <3 You’re so smart and funny (and you got so many words from school assignments what-). It was so fun to get to have you in our cabin, and I’m hoping to see you around next time too

Matty
I’m pretty sure you were busy with a lot of irl things this session, but you still dedicated so much time to our cabin and storyline, and I really appreciate that (even though life > swc) <3 We didn’t talk a lot, but I can tell you’re really smart and funny- I’m glad I got to get to know you this session <3

Mouse
You were so fun to talk to and joke around with this season <33 Even though you think I’m a goat, I still think you’re super smart and thoughtful. also I seriously have so much respect for the fact that you did cabin wars on mobile what- You’re such a talented leader and I hope you apply again for next session (and maybe we can be enemies again <3)

Nova
Navy bean noodley Novaaaa you’re so amazing I don’t even have words- Thank you for helping me out when I was having a rough time and also for your hilarious comments on my profile <33 You’re so funny and thoughtful and I love your writing (especially your fanfics hehe). You better be back next session >:0 /lh

Pepper
Ahh Pepper you’re so cool <3 I absolutely adore your writing and your funny comments in the main cabin- I also really loved your leader app and I hope you apply again for July <33

Poppy
POPPY- Ok, first off, I kind of stalked your writing thread and you are SO talented- like your writing is crazy good (and I’m sure you’d probably say it isn’t but you’re wrong >:0). On top of that, you are one of the most intelligent, dedicated, and hilarious people ever. Also thriller was such a fun contestant for fairy tales (even though we all know who’ll win ;D /j) so I hope you lead another cabin in the future <3

Tilly
I didn’t talk to you that much at the beginning of the session, but we talked more later and you are actually one of the kindest people ever- like I wish we’d talked more because you’re so genuine and I love that- please please come back next session <33

@Create-Scratch101 /Navy (Hex #000080), Mid Orange (Hex #FF5F15), and Light Blue (Hex #add8e6)/ A simple, nice pfp. If possible, could you also make a project-sized thumbnail for my pfp banner? Thanks!

-Telekore- wrote:

I made TWO new object show DVDs on my stepdad's computer. One of them is a DVD with BFB episodes 11 through 30, and the other one is a fixed version of last week's TPOT DVD where TPOT 2 is actually playable.

oh wow! iso? (when you go on his computer again)

ThatOneWeirdDude wrote:

AU-Ratcatcher wrote:

ThatOneWeirdDude wrote:

quote]
Relapse is amazing wdym. Encore and everything after Recovery are mid or worse

Relapse is absolute trash

It isnt but whatever

85% of it is just him rapping disgusting, violent, obnoxious, and offensive lyrics. I get that’s his whole thing, but the whole album is just extremely unpleasant and not very creative. There are few standouts, like 3AM and Crack a Bottle, but most of Relapse is just… not good

HexagonWorld wrote:

Uh… wait what does Sam Lane want besides freeing Metropolis and how is he getting it?

Hmm. Maybe he wants to prove how good of a general he is?

FCUBIC wrote:

Okay, nice! If you guys are interested, I could make a signup sheet and stuff. I'll make the first episode too.

I am VERY interested now, hit me up when you make the signup sheet

mybearworld wrote:

PizzaPizza72 wrote:

(#5)
Why not make a page that is separate from the forums that exists on April Fools Day only?

That would require a lot of work and basically setting up a second forum system just for one day. As the link above says, Scratch will still have a regular themed studio - which also has a comment section.

SpyCoderX wrote:

(#7)
What if saying April fools day is cancelled is an April fools day prank… (prob not, but it’s fun to imagine)

Paddle2See wrote:

P.S. This is not a prank

I only really use this site to talk to my friends even though it is a coding website. Sure, I like the idea of using comments to dump AFD stuff on, but making a project for the April Fool's theme will be tough. My only idea is to make a project with a screenshot of the huge green flag circle and title it “free follows” to trick innocent users.

Hello guy! I'm hosting a DMC contest in a celebration for 60 followers (I know I'm small)

Instructions to the host project as followed
https://scratch.mit.edu/projects/992067304/

Barophobia wrote:

FCUBIC wrote:

Hey guys, I have an idea! I already posted it on ROSS, but I’m putting it here too anyway. What if we all make an object show that has each episode made by a different soscer?

That was… already done I think. I was in it but I left before the first episode was made because I had something going on at the time. I think we called it Showtober? All I remember was my character Deviled Egg and that I think @black_is_my_name was a part of it?

Edit: Yeah, it was done. It was hosted by heyo but I have no idea if they managed to finish it. I think a ROSS version would be nice since new SOSC members would get to contribute.

Okay, nice! If you guys are interested, I could make a signup sheet and stuff. I'll make the first episode too.

ultimate adventures!
It's a 3D game about survival and collecting coins to become the top player!
_____________________________________________
https://scratch.mit.edu/projects/964483352/

So Far I Have Seen At Least Two Joke Topics Posted On The Suggestions Forum.

Last Year, When April Fools' Posts Were Separated Into One Separate Forum, The Suggestions Forum Had A Sticky Regarding April Fools' Topics. I Think That It Might Be Helpful If A Sticky Like That Was Made Again In The Suggestions Forum Itself, Rather Than In The Announcements Forum Where No One Will See It.

PizzaPizza72 wrote:

Does anyone actually come here to code?

Yes. This is the main point of the site, and where the main efforts on Scratch would ideally go.

PizzaPizza72 wrote:

So just do the April Fool's forum. It's not that hard and if the server goes down, make a separate page for it.

It's not hard to create the forum, but it is hard to moderate it. Making a separate page for it would be difficult if the server the page is hosted on went down. Making a completely independent page would be a lot of effort just for one day.

7salad3salad wrote:

PizzaPizza72 wrote:

7salad3salad wrote:

The cleanup and small moderation team, too much effort most likely.

Why don't they recycle the forum and delete it after April Fools?

Plus the ST goes through a lot of effort already by deleting offensive comments.

Believe it or not, even THAT forum has to be moderated. There was tons of spam which isnt allowed. It takes away from genuine people needing help.

It's not even meant for help questions! It's just harmless fun!

Screw this decision.

mybearworld wrote:

SpyCoderX wrote:

(#7)
What if saying April fools day is cancelled is an April fools day prank… (prob not, but it’s fun to imagine)

Paddle2See wrote:

P.S. This is not a prank

…that’s sad.
P.S. What if that P.S. is a prank…

cheddargirl wrote:

XCartooonX wrote:

… it's always been a tradition about having the AFD post made on the forums, …

It may be understandable that you see it as a tradition since you joined fairly recently, but in actuality, AFD never was an established forum tradition after 2.0.

During the 1.x days when the site used different forum software, it was strictly up to the forum moderators to decorate the forum to match with the main site AFD theme (e.g. Neigh Pony), and then after the forum software changed for 2.0 it was strictly a “main website” affair only. AFD as a forum spammage phenomenon only sprang up in the past few years, particularly spurred on by COVID when more people were online and feeling really bored due to seclusion.

Someone already posted a link to where I had explained earlier how the AFD forum spammage phenomenon fast-tracked forum degradation (I actually wanted to quash the year earlier, but got overruled) but needless to say, it's definitely not gonna be a thing anymore, even if we do switch forum software, since forum spammage on that level kills forums over time.

Now if you really want to indulge in true AFD tradition, you'd just have to wait until the official AFD studio comes out and submit a project based on whatever theme the ST has chosen for that year. This is a programming website after all.

Just a simple question:

Does anyone actually come here to code? Most people I see just talk to their friends, so why not let them do their thing?
So just do the April Fool's forum. It's not that hard and if the server goes down, make a separate page for it.

boom2ratz wrote:

AnimatorsParadise wrote:

boom2ratz wrote:

Yes just re-read the forum this was awesome. But we're only able to do it if AP continues the maps otherwise we're doomed lol

It could be fun to revive this, though I might be a bit busy right now, so I'm not sure yet.

Oh okay, that's fine

I’ve tested out making maps since the last time I’ve posted here, so I might be able to do this.

PizzaPizza72 wrote:

(#5)
Why not make a page that is separate from the forums that exists on April Fools Day only?

That would require a lot of work and basically setting up a second forum system just for one day. As the link above says, Scratch will still have a regular themed studio - which also has a comment section.

SpyCoderX wrote:

(#7)
What if saying April fools day is cancelled is an April fools day prank… (prob not, but it’s fun to imagine)

Paddle2See wrote:

P.S. This is not a prank

I made a pen art animation and I thought I could collaborate with some people! 20 Parts (3/20 Done) You all know that I can't do it by myself. If you do the mission I will give you credit.
Pen art: https://scratch.mit.edu/projects/874249857/
Let's test your pen skills!
Make sure you read all!

PizzaPizza72 wrote:

7salad3salad wrote:

The cleanup and small moderation team, too much effort most likely.

Why don't they recycle the forum and delete it after April Fools?

Plus the ST goes through a lot of effort already by deleting offensive comments.

Believe it or not, even THAT forum has to be moderated. There was tons of spam which isnt allowed. It takes away from genuine people needing help.

mybearworld wrote:

April Fool's Day meant a massive increase of activity on the forums, which has led to the forums degrading a lot, which has also often lead to them causing the whole site to go down. This doesn't really work in the long run, so the forums won't host April Fool's Day anymore.
Source

Why not make a page that is separate from the forums that exists on April Fools Day only?

April Fool's Day meant a massive increase of activity on the forums, which has led to the forums degrading a lot, which has also often lead to them causing the whole site to go down. This doesn't really work in the long run, so the forums won't host April Fool's Day anymore.
Source