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Mar 28, 2024 02:48:46
Suggestions from YOU for an april fools update for my game!
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Too_Cool_kids
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hello i am looking for suggestions for my april fools update i'm making for my game! if you have an idea tell me! i will credit your idea in the notes and credits area of my game! thanks and have a good one!
game https://scratch.mit.edu/projects/975200107/
game https://scratch.mit.edu/projects/975200107/
Mar 28, 2024 02:40:14
Name a video game character and I'll try to guess what game their from :P
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jloffen
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bumpHint #2: The game was released in 2004Hint: BarneyNOT the dinosaur, I'm talking about a HUMAN BEING.
Please ask if you need a hint
Mar 28, 2024 02:34:58
⚘ Poppy's Personal Writing Thread ~ SWC March 2024 ⚘
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PoppyWriter
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⇾ Daily #28 (fractured fairy tale) ⚘
(I'm too busy to search out an obscure fairy tale so I'm just doing Rapunzel because… frying pans <33)
If the tower were any taller, I'd probably think twice about trying to climb down it using my hair.
Luckily, it's just the right height, so naturally, I swing my curls over a hook and slide my way down, the split ends of my unruly hair feeling rough and itchy beneath my hands.
I'm out.
He's standing three feet away from me.
“You didn't even scream,” Everett says.
I relish in his disappointment for a moment. He had whined and wailed like a child when he'd gone down. It had hurt when he'd gone down on my hair, but I wasn't going to tell him that.
I hand him a fistful of hair. “Get braiding.”
“Huh?”
“Look,” I say, "we're trying to get the both of us out of here. If we're going to make it any further, we can't have my hair leaving a sixty-foot trail to our exact location. So, therefore, I will repeat myself. Get braiding.“
”I…“
I look at him with wide, angry eyes. ”Don't tell me you don't know how to braid.“
He smiles guiltily.
I roll my eyes and pick some grass blades to show him what to do with the little strands. After a minute or two of playing with some straw, he eventually gets the hang of it.
After about an hour, my hair is only about down to my ankles, which is a serious improvement.
”Let's get moving,“ I say.
He doesn't know my name. I insisted he call me ”Her Royal Highness.“ I'm not a princess or anything, just a girl who got caught on the wrong side of a war and ended up in the most isolated place the new government could find. Apparently, it was where they put the prisoners who couldn't be put in the normal prisons, or they would stir up trouble.
Which, of course, is how Everett and I ended up climbing out of a tower.
It's fine, though. I've got a guy who follows my orders and calls me Your Highness. Things could be a lot worse.
I think he was starting like calling me Highness, though. He smiled every time he said it.
I slung my pack over my shoulder, the weight of the food and water supply already making my shoulder sore.
”So,“ he says. ”We've known each other for two weeks, and we're out of the tower. You can't use that excuse of being busy making plans anymore.“
”So?“ I shoot back.
”So, what's your story?“
I stop, turn to him, and place a hand on my hip. It's a look that had terrified my siblings in the past.
He, unfortunately, seems rather unfazed.
”My story is the exact same as yours,“ I say. I turn to walk onward.
”What's that supposed to mean?“
”It means I lived a normal life, I got caught in the war, and I just happened to be a particularly stubborn inmate!“ I say, throwing up my hands in frustration.
”How do you know that's what my life was like?“ he says.
I turn to him. ”Enlighten me.“
He looks down, suddenly solemn. ”I was a thief before this. I stole art, food, everything.“
He truly looks ashamed.
I shrug and continue walking. ”Alright.“
”Huh?“
”I don't mind."
What I don't tell him is that my past is worse.
I was a prisoner even before this.
I don't say the words, but given the way he's looking at me, I think he can see them written in my eyes.
I walk onward. My hair swings behind me, briefly getting caught on a thorn, holding me where I am.
Stuck.
I yank my hair free and walk further.
⇾ 614 words ⚘
Mar 28, 2024 02:32:39
describe video games as clickbait youtube videos
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jloffen
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Nope. I don't think Alyx met a crazy monk. I don't even recall mentioning HLA! (until now)Alyx?You're on the right track, but which Half-Life game? easy question, I know.half life smthHint #2: The military I'm talking about originates from another world, but the soldiers themselves are actually modified humans.Hint: I BECOME EUROPE'S MOST WANTED BY STARTING A RESISTANCE?! (ALIEN MILITARY CALLED) (CRAZY MONK??) (GONE RIGHT??)I've already mentioned this specific game like a billion times before
-SimplyWatermelon-
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March 28th 2024
—— critique for @poppywriter
Hi Poppy! I absolutely love your piece. It's haunting and beautiful and just awesome. The frequent line breaks (combined with the interspersed poetry/lyrics) make it feel like a poem and it flows really well. I'll try to give you some general critique at the end, but I'm going to start with some line-by-line. (Any line-by-line critique I give is based mainly on personal preference, so use the tips that work for you!)
Oh… my… GOSH POPPY WHAT THIS IS AMAZING!!!?!!!! The last two sections especially, honestly I'm not even sure why but they're so emotional. The tension is perfect. The pacing is perfect. You got my heart rate up for the final two paragraphs, and I could here dramatic and mysterious soundtrack music playing in my head. It's that good. Other than the stylistic critique I already gave, there's nothing I would change. It's just amazing. Fantastic work, and I wish you the very best of luck in the writing comp <3333
—— critique for @poppywriter
Hi Poppy! I absolutely love your piece. It's haunting and beautiful and just awesome. The frequent line breaks (combined with the interspersed poetry/lyrics) make it feel like a poem and it flows really well. I'll try to give you some general critique at the end, but I'm going to start with some line-by-line. (Any line-by-line critique I give is based mainly on personal preference, so use the tips that work for you!)
Even as I’d pull the barbs out every night when I came home, I swore to myself I’d never tear them out.This may just be me, but it almost seems like the end of this sentence is saying that they swore they'd never tear the barbs out of their skin. This is very nitpicky, but perhaps consider rewording it? On another note, I really love the mysterious way that this starts the piece.
I pull open the door to my family’s cabin, trying to calm my heart enough to suck in air. The door shuts loudly behind me, and the noise rings in my ears.This is so great, I love how it uses body language to show fear as opposed to stating it <3
She sighs, the sound like water frothing out of a spring.I get the vibe of what this is trying to say, but it's hard to imagine a sigh actually sounding like this. (Again, nitpicking! Sorry xD)
The pain in her voice is colder than a river on a rainy morning.I just want to say right now: it's so cool how the mother being symbolized by water contrasts the mc's fire, almost as if she's symbolically dousing their flame… asjhk it's just so cool :0
Some of the people on the other side of the thorns and woods call me diseased.This is such a great paragraph ahhhhh <33
They call me mad.
They call me skittish, like a rat in a trap.
A child that never learned bravery.
I say I’m braver than all of them, because I have defied the wolves thus far.
Dearest child, the wolves are blessedThis is probably just me, but when I try to read this with a poetic meter it puts a weird emphasis on the last syllable of goddess (in my mind I hear it as god/dess/), so maybe try reworking the number of syllables in either line? Also, I love how this verse seems to be coming from the perspective of mother, unlike the others.
Held in the arms of their crystal goddess
I am truly making an attempt to stay calm, but I know it’s not true.True and truly together is a little repetitive. Maybe change “making an attempt” to “attempting,” and remove the truly altogether?
Wolves serve the moon. They cry to it, they pray to it, they wake when it does.This is just an idea I had, and really has nothing to do with the quality of writing. When I read the stanza about the crystal goddess, it seemed as if it was talking about the moon. (Or the moon spirit?) If you wanted to enhance the mystical quality of the piece, you could refer to the moon as “she” here, but if I'm misinterpreting your intent feel free to ignore this <3
Mama, mama, my soul is aflameI absolutely love how you speed up the pacing here. This section is absolutely amazing, and the second stanza reads like music. (It's the main reason why I think The Weep of the Wolves would be an amazing title ;D)
Mama, mama, will I be to blame?
My hands are only growing warmer.
The well is still half an hour’s walk off.
Panic sets in.
I begin to run.
The midnight bell begins to toll
Mama, I can hear the weep of the wolves
Wolves love the moon, the moon loves silver.I JUST FIGURED THIS OUT AND IT'S SO COOL- this establishes why (and if) the wolves are against the protagonist, and honestly it's mind-blowing. Maybe I'm overreacting but… ashfsjdjfk
Men love their sun, the sun loves its fire.
If I burn, the wolves will find me.
They follow the moon. Pray to it.
I am of the sun.
Little drops of ruby-red appear on my arm, not even large enough to truly cause damage, but certainly large enough to feel.I would remove the “even” here, and perhaps change the first comma to a dash? That's just stylistic so your choice <3
I cannot draw water.THIS- … THIS!!!! AHHHH
I cannot draw breath.
THE ENTIRE ENDINGAHHHHHHHHHHHH
Oh… my… GOSH POPPY WHAT THIS IS AMAZING!!!?!!!! The last two sections especially, honestly I'm not even sure why but they're so emotional. The tension is perfect. The pacing is perfect. You got my heart rate up for the final two paragraphs, and I could here dramatic and mysterious soundtrack music playing in my head. It's that good. Other than the stylistic critique I already gave, there's nothing I would change. It's just amazing. Fantastic work, and I wish you the very best of luck in the writing comp <3333
Amethyst-animation
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Amethyst's Untested Stew - 1857 words
The gale howled through the bleak streets of Abiford. Ikaria wrapped her black cloak around her, only the tip of her nose being exposed to the biting cold. She briefly longed for the times where Eden had not been so cold – before the War had begun.
Warm weather wasn’t the only thing that Ikaria had lost from the War.
A sputtering neon sign quickly snatched Ikaria’s thoughts, declaring that she had reached her location.
Crimson Bar.
Quietly, she slipped through the dark doors. If anyone sees me…
As she walked through the red-lighted bar, she hoped the (albeit terrible) music would be enough to cover the conversation she was about to have. She had almost reached the bartender, attending people in the middle of the room, when she was stopped with iron-grip hands.
“Slow down, miss,” barked the security guards. “Show your ID.”
Ikaria sighed, switching on the Memory Shard. The diamond-shaped device split open, projecting a wall of text. The guard scanned it, and when he could find no fault, gave a grunt and released her.
The part of her arm where she had been grabbed still stinging, Ikaria casually sauntered over to the bartender. “Angar?” she murmured.
“Don’t call me that name,” hissed the difficult man, glancing around to make sure no one had heard her speak. She doubted it – the music was so loud her ears were starting to literally throb. “No one else can know where I’ve come from.”
“My bad. Radyn, was it? I’m here for my… business.”
Angar raised his eyebrow, but led Ikaria through the slowly crowding bar. With no particular gentleness, he shoved Ikaria inside the back room, slammed a “staff only” sign on the door, and left without a farewell. Immediately the music quietened, and Ikaria sighed with relief.
A cough interrupted her.
“Oh, Elders, you guys are early,” Ikaria chuckled as she took a seat.
“Well, we have a lot to discuss,” Rowara replied curtly.
Remembering where she was, Ikaria quietened and straightened her back politely. “Now that… most of us are here,” Rowara announced. “We can start with our chat.”
A man – Jupus, Ikaria thought he was called – cleared his throat. “Not too much going on in my sector,” he said. “We have a few new recruits.”
Rowara frowned. “Tell me you haven’t said much to them–”
“Yes,” Jupus snapped. “I’m following protocol.” To the rest of them, he added: “I’m wearing my fox mask around them, and I haven’t allowed them to meet any other rebels, nor go to our headquarters. I’ll monitor them for now, but none of them show any sign of being a defect.”
Settling back in relief, Rowara gave an approving nod. “Anyone else?”
The general consensus was that nothing notable was happening. Almost concerning, really – typically, at least one sector had something strange to note.
The quiet was worrying.
Finally, it was Ikaria’s turn. “My borough is as uneventful as all of yours,” she said regretfully. “I took some of my rebels and we did some graffiti.” She rubbed her temples. “Speaking of which, I’ve been watching that area. The effects aren’t going as well as we hoped. A few Eden citizens pause and read the graffiti, but they’re too afraid of the soldiers catching them, so they quickly move on. I guess the best benefit of doing it is watching the Eden soldiers get furious, but even so…”
A smile graced Ikaria’s face as she recalled the events of the night before. Her loyal rebels had snuck out with her, under the cover of darkness, and written over a wall covered in Eden propaganda posters.
There is more than what Eden is telling you.
The other realms are free, warm and wonderful.
The war is not going well for Eden, because the might of Orbit is not on their side.
Oh, the last one was satisfying to write. Before the Eden King had taken over, Orbit had been the icon of the realm. Being the closest realm to the endless sky, they often had witnessed the Megabird soaring across the skies, along with their ascended ancestors flying alongside her. But since the war had begun, the Megabird had disappeared from the skies, as had the stars that were the spirits of their ancestors.
And so Eden had forgotten Orbit.
Rowana narrowed her eyes, snatching her from her memories. “Are you suggesting we abandon the graffiti strategy?”
Before Ikaria could reply with her proposal, the door was flung open yet again. Rowana sighed. “For heaven’s sake, Quintan, you need to be more punct–”
Whatever berating that was bubbling at Rowana’s throat quickly died away as they saw Quintan’s state. His hair was wild, and his face was bloodied, as though he had just been in a battle. In his other hand, he clutched a long spear.
“Compromised,” whispered Quintan.
The chaos that erupted was instantaneous, but Rowana quickly showcased why she had been selected as the leader of the rebels. Within a heartbeat, she commanded the room to be quiet, and addressed Quintan directly. “What happened?”
“Matheo was a traitor,” he said. “He led a battalion of Eden soldiers to our district’s headquarters and–” Quintan’s lip trembled. “I was lucky to get away.”
With barely a tremor in her voice, she replied: “Matheo? Your second-in-command?”
Quintan looked away as he nodded.
Rowana sighed. “I suppose he knows all of our identities.”
“Yes, and the locations of our headquarters.”
After hissed curses, Rowana called everyone to stand. “We have to run. Eden will be after us.”
“Where to?” someone called.
“Anywhere far away.” Her eyes slitted. “Go to a realm against Eden. There… try to survive. Now, run!”
Ikaria could barely think from the panic rising in her chest. She locked eyes with Rowana, nodded in her gratitude, and fled from the bar. Her breath came in ragged, short bursts as she sprinted as hard as she could through the streets, heading for the secret stables.
“Larka! It’s me!” she shouted as she approached the small, underground room.
The stablehand recognised Ikaria’s voice immediately and threw open the door. “What’s wrong?!”
“Matheo betrayed us,” Ikario said without hesitation. “The leaders of the rebels have to run. We have to go quickly, before…" The words were painful, but she forced herself to speak. “Before the Eden soldiers come knocking at our door.”
“What? What about the rest of the rebels?”
Ikaria locked eyes with Larka. “You must figure it out yourself. But there’s nothing we can do for now – Eden monitors everything, everywhere, all the time. I don’t think Matheo has his hands on the list of rebels, but he knows everyone at the top – which is why we need to go, Orbit *!”
Larka’s eyes widened, but she quickly slammed open the grate that led to the world outside. She untied a rope holding one of the mantas, and led it to Ikaria. “Rahu’s quick, and fast. Just… move quickly.”
“A few others might be coming,” Ikaria told her as she cautiously sat on the saddle strapped on the manta – Rahu. “Be ready.”
Larka swallowed, but nodded. “Good luck,” she told Ikaria.
“You too. Thank you,” Ikaria murmured.
The stablehand wasn’t exaggerating when she said the manta was fast. Although Ikaria kept her hands firmly on the reins of the Light creature, it seemed to be able to move and twist swiftly with just the lightest touch. She urged it up, up, up, winding around the skyscrapers that loomed over the city.
They burst across the very height of the city. Rahu’s wings pumped furiously as it gained a little more height, then spread out. A roar echoed through the city. Dread thundered in Ikaria’s heart, and she tried not to turn around – knowing she’d be frozen in fear forever if she did, but she couldn’t help herself. The red eye of a dark dragon bore down at her, its gaze reflected through the ray. Her flesh glowed red against the light, and she spotted an Eden soldier driving the dragon.
“Faster, faster,” she begged the manta. It angled into a dove, and the roar of the wind drowned out Ikaria’s startled shriek.
A frustration growl from the dark dragon heightened Ikaria’s fear, and she turned Rahu’s reins. Exclamations from the bystanders watching below mingled with the furious panting of the dragon.
“Come on…”
They slipped between skyscraper and skyscraper, diving through alleys and roads, desperately trying to shake the dark dragon and the Eden soldier behind them off. At last, Ikaria’s eyes snagged on a tiny, backroad, and she turned the manta towards it.
A cold command rang out from the Eden soldier, and Ikaria’s blood turned frigid. She recognised the words he spoke – an order to attack.
“Quickly,” she said through gritted teeth.
The krill shrieked as it sped towards them, lunging towards Rahu and Ikaria. But as it did so, the manta slipped into the narrow road.
A breath of relief escaped Ikaria. They had escaped.
Eventually, they landed on the first, snowy lands of the Valley of Triumph. Ikaria gave Rahu a quick, grateful pat, taking in the mountains of ice with a sweeping glance. Mantas swooped through the rolling hills, the sun sparkling off the reflection of the snow. Despite the Valley being the realm of snow, the light of day warmed every inch of Ikaria’s flesh. She had to shade her eyes – brightness seemed to emit from everywhere.
And the border patrol guards came from nowhere.
“Lalicaz, is that–”
“Hush, let’s not startle her.”
Footsteps crunched against ice. Ikaria pivoted, coming face-to-face with two people dressed in armour.
“Ecedo, I–”
“Who are you?” Ikaria asked fiercely.
The armoured people flinched. “That accent… you’re from Eden, aren’t you?”
Gone was the warm demeanor of the guards. The one called Lalicaz snatched a spear from her belt. Her gaze scoured Ikaria, taking in all of her clothes, her looks, her hairstyle. “She has to be. Well, Eden person, we’re the border guards, and we’re asking you to–”
“Leave,” Ecedo barked.
“I’m a friend– I’m a Rebel,” Ikaria said hurriedly.
Ecedo raised one of his eyebrows. “Prove it.”
“Prove it– I, uh…” she had a sudden flash of inspiration. “Do you know a man called Emeryn?”
“Of course. He has contact with the Rebels in Eden– oh.”
“If you bring him here, he’ll know me,” Ikaria smiled confidently.
Ecedo and Lalicaz exchanged a long, unspoken glance. Then, Ecedo sighed. “I’ll go look for him.”
Ikaria was surprised at how little time it took for Ecedo to find Emeryn. But when he did, Emeryn’s eyes went wide. “Ikaria?”
“Emeryn?”
An excited laugh spilled out of Emeryn’s mouth, and they ran to each other. “You’re real! You’re not a recording!”
“Well, that would be awkward,” Ikaria chuckled.
They quickly excused themselves from the border guard. Hand in hand, Emeryn led Ikaria through the land. It quickly changed from nature to civilisation. Copper and bricks flashed from all the buildings. The tiles on the roofs were blue, but they were lined with gold. Emeryn and Ikaria chatted excitedly as they pranced through the snow-covered roads, and a smile graced Ikaria’s face.
The gale howled through the bleak streets of Abiford. Ikaria wrapped her black cloak around her, only the tip of her nose being exposed to the biting cold. She briefly longed for the times where Eden had not been so cold – before the War had begun.
Warm weather wasn’t the only thing that Ikaria had lost from the War.
A sputtering neon sign quickly snatched Ikaria’s thoughts, declaring that she had reached her location.
Crimson Bar.
Quietly, she slipped through the dark doors. If anyone sees me…
As she walked through the red-lighted bar, she hoped the (albeit terrible) music would be enough to cover the conversation she was about to have. She had almost reached the bartender, attending people in the middle of the room, when she was stopped with iron-grip hands.
“Slow down, miss,” barked the security guards. “Show your ID.”
Ikaria sighed, switching on the Memory Shard. The diamond-shaped device split open, projecting a wall of text. The guard scanned it, and when he could find no fault, gave a grunt and released her.
The part of her arm where she had been grabbed still stinging, Ikaria casually sauntered over to the bartender. “Angar?” she murmured.
“Don’t call me that name,” hissed the difficult man, glancing around to make sure no one had heard her speak. She doubted it – the music was so loud her ears were starting to literally throb. “No one else can know where I’ve come from.”
“My bad. Radyn, was it? I’m here for my… business.”
Angar raised his eyebrow, but led Ikaria through the slowly crowding bar. With no particular gentleness, he shoved Ikaria inside the back room, slammed a “staff only” sign on the door, and left without a farewell. Immediately the music quietened, and Ikaria sighed with relief.
A cough interrupted her.
“Oh, Elders, you guys are early,” Ikaria chuckled as she took a seat.
“Well, we have a lot to discuss,” Rowara replied curtly.
Remembering where she was, Ikaria quietened and straightened her back politely. “Now that… most of us are here,” Rowara announced. “We can start with our chat.”
A man – Jupus, Ikaria thought he was called – cleared his throat. “Not too much going on in my sector,” he said. “We have a few new recruits.”
Rowara frowned. “Tell me you haven’t said much to them–”
“Yes,” Jupus snapped. “I’m following protocol.” To the rest of them, he added: “I’m wearing my fox mask around them, and I haven’t allowed them to meet any other rebels, nor go to our headquarters. I’ll monitor them for now, but none of them show any sign of being a defect.”
Settling back in relief, Rowara gave an approving nod. “Anyone else?”
The general consensus was that nothing notable was happening. Almost concerning, really – typically, at least one sector had something strange to note.
The quiet was worrying.
Finally, it was Ikaria’s turn. “My borough is as uneventful as all of yours,” she said regretfully. “I took some of my rebels and we did some graffiti.” She rubbed her temples. “Speaking of which, I’ve been watching that area. The effects aren’t going as well as we hoped. A few Eden citizens pause and read the graffiti, but they’re too afraid of the soldiers catching them, so they quickly move on. I guess the best benefit of doing it is watching the Eden soldiers get furious, but even so…”
A smile graced Ikaria’s face as she recalled the events of the night before. Her loyal rebels had snuck out with her, under the cover of darkness, and written over a wall covered in Eden propaganda posters.
There is more than what Eden is telling you.
The other realms are free, warm and wonderful.
The war is not going well for Eden, because the might of Orbit is not on their side.
Oh, the last one was satisfying to write. Before the Eden King had taken over, Orbit had been the icon of the realm. Being the closest realm to the endless sky, they often had witnessed the Megabird soaring across the skies, along with their ascended ancestors flying alongside her. But since the war had begun, the Megabird had disappeared from the skies, as had the stars that were the spirits of their ancestors.
And so Eden had forgotten Orbit.
Rowana narrowed her eyes, snatching her from her memories. “Are you suggesting we abandon the graffiti strategy?”
Before Ikaria could reply with her proposal, the door was flung open yet again. Rowana sighed. “For heaven’s sake, Quintan, you need to be more punct–”
Whatever berating that was bubbling at Rowana’s throat quickly died away as they saw Quintan’s state. His hair was wild, and his face was bloodied, as though he had just been in a battle. In his other hand, he clutched a long spear.
“Compromised,” whispered Quintan.
The chaos that erupted was instantaneous, but Rowana quickly showcased why she had been selected as the leader of the rebels. Within a heartbeat, she commanded the room to be quiet, and addressed Quintan directly. “What happened?”
“Matheo was a traitor,” he said. “He led a battalion of Eden soldiers to our district’s headquarters and–” Quintan’s lip trembled. “I was lucky to get away.”
With barely a tremor in her voice, she replied: “Matheo? Your second-in-command?”
Quintan looked away as he nodded.
Rowana sighed. “I suppose he knows all of our identities.”
“Yes, and the locations of our headquarters.”
After hissed curses, Rowana called everyone to stand. “We have to run. Eden will be after us.”
“Where to?” someone called.
“Anywhere far away.” Her eyes slitted. “Go to a realm against Eden. There… try to survive. Now, run!”
Ikaria could barely think from the panic rising in her chest. She locked eyes with Rowana, nodded in her gratitude, and fled from the bar. Her breath came in ragged, short bursts as she sprinted as hard as she could through the streets, heading for the secret stables.
“Larka! It’s me!” she shouted as she approached the small, underground room.
The stablehand recognised Ikaria’s voice immediately and threw open the door. “What’s wrong?!”
“Matheo betrayed us,” Ikario said without hesitation. “The leaders of the rebels have to run. We have to go quickly, before…" The words were painful, but she forced herself to speak. “Before the Eden soldiers come knocking at our door.”
“What? What about the rest of the rebels?”
Ikaria locked eyes with Larka. “You must figure it out yourself. But there’s nothing we can do for now – Eden monitors everything, everywhere, all the time. I don’t think Matheo has his hands on the list of rebels, but he knows everyone at the top – which is why we need to go, Orbit *!”
Larka’s eyes widened, but she quickly slammed open the grate that led to the world outside. She untied a rope holding one of the mantas, and led it to Ikaria. “Rahu’s quick, and fast. Just… move quickly.”
“A few others might be coming,” Ikaria told her as she cautiously sat on the saddle strapped on the manta – Rahu. “Be ready.”
Larka swallowed, but nodded. “Good luck,” she told Ikaria.
“You too. Thank you,” Ikaria murmured.
The stablehand wasn’t exaggerating when she said the manta was fast. Although Ikaria kept her hands firmly on the reins of the Light creature, it seemed to be able to move and twist swiftly with just the lightest touch. She urged it up, up, up, winding around the skyscrapers that loomed over the city.
They burst across the very height of the city. Rahu’s wings pumped furiously as it gained a little more height, then spread out. A roar echoed through the city. Dread thundered in Ikaria’s heart, and she tried not to turn around – knowing she’d be frozen in fear forever if she did, but she couldn’t help herself. The red eye of a dark dragon bore down at her, its gaze reflected through the ray. Her flesh glowed red against the light, and she spotted an Eden soldier driving the dragon.
“Faster, faster,” she begged the manta. It angled into a dove, and the roar of the wind drowned out Ikaria’s startled shriek.
A frustration growl from the dark dragon heightened Ikaria’s fear, and she turned Rahu’s reins. Exclamations from the bystanders watching below mingled with the furious panting of the dragon.
“Come on…”
They slipped between skyscraper and skyscraper, diving through alleys and roads, desperately trying to shake the dark dragon and the Eden soldier behind them off. At last, Ikaria’s eyes snagged on a tiny, backroad, and she turned the manta towards it.
A cold command rang out from the Eden soldier, and Ikaria’s blood turned frigid. She recognised the words he spoke – an order to attack.
“Quickly,” she said through gritted teeth.
The krill shrieked as it sped towards them, lunging towards Rahu and Ikaria. But as it did so, the manta slipped into the narrow road.
A breath of relief escaped Ikaria. They had escaped.
Eventually, they landed on the first, snowy lands of the Valley of Triumph. Ikaria gave Rahu a quick, grateful pat, taking in the mountains of ice with a sweeping glance. Mantas swooped through the rolling hills, the sun sparkling off the reflection of the snow. Despite the Valley being the realm of snow, the light of day warmed every inch of Ikaria’s flesh. She had to shade her eyes – brightness seemed to emit from everywhere.
And the border patrol guards came from nowhere.
“Lalicaz, is that–”
“Hush, let’s not startle her.”
Footsteps crunched against ice. Ikaria pivoted, coming face-to-face with two people dressed in armour.
“Ecedo, I–”
“Who are you?” Ikaria asked fiercely.
The armoured people flinched. “That accent… you’re from Eden, aren’t you?”
Gone was the warm demeanor of the guards. The one called Lalicaz snatched a spear from her belt. Her gaze scoured Ikaria, taking in all of her clothes, her looks, her hairstyle. “She has to be. Well, Eden person, we’re the border guards, and we’re asking you to–”
“Leave,” Ecedo barked.
“I’m a friend– I’m a Rebel,” Ikaria said hurriedly.
Ecedo raised one of his eyebrows. “Prove it.”
“Prove it– I, uh…” she had a sudden flash of inspiration. “Do you know a man called Emeryn?”
“Of course. He has contact with the Rebels in Eden– oh.”
“If you bring him here, he’ll know me,” Ikaria smiled confidently.
Ecedo and Lalicaz exchanged a long, unspoken glance. Then, Ecedo sighed. “I’ll go look for him.”
Ikaria was surprised at how little time it took for Ecedo to find Emeryn. But when he did, Emeryn’s eyes went wide. “Ikaria?”
“Emeryn?”
An excited laugh spilled out of Emeryn’s mouth, and they ran to each other. “You’re real! You’re not a recording!”
“Well, that would be awkward,” Ikaria chuckled.
They quickly excused themselves from the border guard. Hand in hand, Emeryn led Ikaria through the land. It quickly changed from nature to civilisation. Copper and bricks flashed from all the buildings. The tiles on the roofs were blue, but they were lined with gold. Emeryn and Ikaria chatted excitedly as they pranced through the snow-covered roads, and a smile graced Ikaria’s face.
littlegoat2015
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NEW UPDATE
Math Game V1 is having a settings button on screen due to some changes to the UI.
Ramadan deals will be added from 5/4/24 to 1/5/24.
We will add:
Math Game V1 is having a settings button on screen due to some changes to the UI.
Ramadan deals will be added from 5/4/24 to 1/5/24.
We will add:
- New Malay style
Malaysia commands
Mar 28, 2024 02:06:25
HELP THE X MINUS SCROLL X IS HAVING A SKILL ISSUE (I MIGHT ACTUALLY BE THE ONE THOUGH)
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dragonsnake003
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The idea of (x) - (scroll x) has always worked for me. I am making a top down shooter, and the player head and the arms and gun are in different sprites. I need the arms to go to the player, and I did go to x: (item (i) of player x) - (scroll x) / (camera scale) and the same for y, but the arms do not stay with the player. They are close, but are just slightly slower than the player. Anyone know how to fix this?
warbling_gerbil
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Okay, thanks! I'll try.Try asking them to rename their cloud variables, then to save the project. There's a glitch where the cloud variables don't save their updates, but renaming them usually fixes the problem. I knew the first two, although there must be more than those three. I know of two games right now entered in a contest I'm hosting and according to the code, their cloud variables should work just fine! However, the cloud variables only update if someone else different plays at the same time or not at all for some reason.
littlegoat2015
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Post here to add new things to the game!
End with the version number like V1 or V2!
There is a 2% chance your post will be added!
Happy posting
End with the version number like V1 or V2!
There is a 2% chance your post will be added!
Happy posting
Mar 28, 2024 01:59:14
Minecraft Topic III: Absolutely fixed relatively broken coordinates
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LarryTheHedgehog
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you can get bedrock mods on mcpedlI don't think so. U can play mods on the marketplace, but I don't think u can do java modssnip last post on the pageCan I use mods on bedrock? Like, can I just download a mod and then play it on bedrock edition?
Platypus_WKeyboard
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Y'know, there's a the X-Men series, older shows, hack even the movies I could be watching for inspiration…
But I'm watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer instead.
But I'm watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer instead.
Mar 28, 2024 01:52:43
♫♫ The Piano Shop ♫♫ Quality music services since 25 May 2022 ♫♫ Offering all kinds of music! ♫♫
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rishaandas
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at least I'm not saying my birthdate, password, and so and so. But thanks for the tip (:You shouldn't reveal your age as it could impact your safety. But honestly I don't really care if people share their age, just wanted to expose the safety risks.I'm eleven ;-;Same. Im 18. Lol. I am quite a bit older than the average Scratch demographic though haha
RSITYTScratch
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Try telling them to rename the cloud variables and save it, just like the user above me said. I knew the first two, although there must be more than those three. I know of two games right now entered in a contest I'm hosting and according to the code, their cloud variables should work just fine! However, the cloud variables only update if someone else different plays at the same time or not at all for some reason.
malicondii
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Try asking them to rename their cloud variables, then to save the project. There's a glitch where the cloud variables don't save their updates, but renaming them usually fixes the problem. I knew the first two, although there must be more than those three. I know of two games right now entered in a contest I'm hosting and according to the code, their cloud variables should work just fine! However, the cloud variables only update if someone else different plays at the same time or not at all for some reason.
Mar 28, 2024 01:38:24
Minecraft Topic III: Absolutely fixed relatively broken coordinates
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Masterscratch1117
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I think they were replying to _WOFDOG_ since they were asking if mods worked on bedrockI did listen. Geyser is a mod for adding bedrock players to java minecraft servers. It does NOT work for downloading mods and using them on bedrock. So maybe you should start listeningcan you stop not listeningI don't think so. U can play mods on the marketplace, but I don't think u can do java modssnip last post on the pageCan I use mods on bedrock? Like, can I just download a mod and then play it on bedrock edition?Today 21:25:13snipity snip snip
It's a Java server-side plugin that opens up a port to allow bedrock users to play on.
https://geysermc.org/
Sunny_Outside
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warbling_gerbil
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I knew the first two, although there must be more than those three. I know of two games right now entered in a contest I'm hosting and according to the code, their cloud variables should work just fine! However, the cloud variables only update if someone else different plays at the same time or not at all for some reason. Scratch's cloud variables are restricted in a number of ways, these include:
- Only numbers are allowed
- 10 is the maximum number of cloud variables you can have
- Can be updated at a max of 10 times per second
- The character limit is 256 characters
- New Scratchers can't have or use projects using cloud variables.
BlauHourglass
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Purpleowlelliot
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Hi, so my project has a sprite where it creates clones of itself, and when it receives a broadcast, it's supposed to delete. For some reason it won't delete.
Sunny_Outside
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BlauHourglass
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OatsAndDates
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Hi. Post here to find some to do a F4F with.
Mar 28, 2024 01:27:15
Say a video game quote and I'll try to guess it.
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leogames2016
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Me!Technically, neither of us were wrong since that line also appears in Sonic 06, and that game is where the line became a meme.Wrong!sonic 06 It's no use!Wrong!Sonic the Hedgehog (2006), Silver's boss fight in Sonic's story (maybe Shadow's as well, but I never made it that far). It's no use!
It's actually Naruto:Ultimate Ninja 2!
so who in the world would guess a naruto game
and that line exists on budokai tenkaichi 3 and nun2-3 so why think it comes from sonic 06?
RSITYTScratch
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Scratch's cloud variables are restricted in a number of ways, these include:
- Only numbers are allowed
- 10 is the maximum number of cloud variables you can have
- Can be updated at a max of 10 times per second
- The character limit is 256 characters
- New Scratchers can't have or use projects using cloud variables
- Only numbers are allowed
- 10 is the maximum number of cloud variables you can have
- Can be updated at a max of 10 times per second
- The character limit is 256 characters
- New Scratchers can't have or use projects using cloud variables
Mar 28, 2024 01:25:44
anyone know how to make an animated thumbnail?
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SpyCoderX
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Use a .gif file instead of a .png or .jpg
Sunny_Outside
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Quantum1993
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It's been over 2 weeks of being on scratch. I searched up how to be a scratcher on the scratch wiki. It said that I had to have at least 2 projects, several favorites and loved projects, and comments. I have 8 projects. I favorited and loved over 20 projects. I commented over 30 comments and I posted over 10 posts in discuss. So why am I not a scratcher? I really want to use cloud data. Please someone on scratch team or someone who knows the awnser please tell me why am I not a scratcher yet.It may take a day or two for the invite to arrive.
Why am I not a scratcher?
EDIT: I am now a scratcher!!!!
Removed; just realized you said you got the invite.
Mar 28, 2024 01:21:39
Scratch Empires 3 but it has a filter that makes it safer than other servers that have been up in the past and haven't had any issues
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3-upMoon
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Pretty sure best breed/color is more of a racist argument than a proper onethey are both very cute and silly critters Cats are, in fact better than dogs
A more proper argument would be the best breed/color of cat/dog
Rottweiler=best dog breed
Black=best kitty color
Greenbeansandorang
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I made a game before I had an account a long time ago. I was remaking a game I didn't download before. It was a medieval esque shooter where I had “if key space pressed create clone of arrow” but it doesn't work the code blocks under “when I start as a clone” just don't work.
KitStar12
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the explosion should be non-realistic and don't put nukes in it
for things like wwII history put a TW
for things like wwII history put a TW
ArthurTheCoder
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Dang, I can see that there is something, but all it’s showing is an outlined blue box with a question mark, it’s not loading.
Mar 28, 2024 01:18:43
Minecraft-Scratch Community Group - OFFICIAL topic
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3-upMoon
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W h a t T h e P h o I s A K u m q u a t
Mar 28, 2024 01:15:59
Scratch Empires 3 but it has a filter that makes it safer than other servers that have been up in the past and haven't had any issues
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3-upMoon
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Fishercats eat fish, Dogs eat fish food, hamsters eat kumquats.@3-upmoon is a pet??? WHATTTTAh, okay. No, I meant real fishercats. As pets.the person that said cats are better than dogs?Define 3-upmoon, please.Even fishercats that also happen to be 3-upmoon?Does that include Fishercats? Cats are, in fact better than dogs
Mar 28, 2024 00:51:30
Making a script that imports chess FEN strings into a simplified version in a list
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erehzuwlamA
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My project so far: https://scratch.mit.edu/projects/991085034/
I need help making a script that can decode FEN strings. my idea is for the script to look at each char of the FEN and associate it with a square on the screen and if it has a chess piece or not. someone help me, this is gonna be somewhat complex
I need help making a script that can decode FEN strings. my idea is for the script to look at each char of the FEN and associate it with a square on the screen and if it has a chess piece or not. someone help me, this is gonna be somewhat complex
Mar 28, 2024 00:48:45
♫♫ The Piano Shop ♫♫ Quality music services since 25 May 2022 ♫♫ Offering all kinds of music! ♫♫
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depresso-boiyo
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I think age sharing is an absolute load of bull. People can lie about their age. However, i do agree a younger child shouldnt ever reveal their age until they're old enough to understand the consequences (11-13) and only on child safe sites. As the child ages it gets safer for them as they aren't as naïve. You shouldn't reveal your age as it could impact your safety. But honestly I don't really care if people share their age, just wanted to expose the safety risks.
CRAZY_Clayton
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Okay well that escalated quickly.But why? One of them is like bookmarking the project so that you can go back to it, the other is like the current like feature that YouTube has - it's not harming anything to have two.
Yeah I’m starting to realize that I’m just a d*mn idiot and my autistic brain is confused way too easy
It's not inherently a bad suggestion, it's just that removing/merging features doesn't really help anyone, especially since these features are completely different.
I know. like I said, I’m stupid and I’ll get used to it. However as I stated previously, I thought it showed on the user’s profile no matter which one you used. But now I know that’s not the case so I should get used to this within a week or so.
Mar 28, 2024 00:40:58
Limit How Many Times You Can Be Featured/Trending (revised so no name/shame)
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han614698
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I think this should at the very least reset itself every once in a while. Otherwise, the trending page loses it's realism to show what's trending.
In real life, if Taylor Swift's songs are on the billboard charts two months in a row, she's not going to get a limit of five total months.
In real life, if Taylor Swift's songs are on the billboard charts two months in a row, she's not going to get a limit of five total months.
Mar 28, 2024 00:40:14
Super Mario Maker 4 - Level and World Codes
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Scratch4Bob5
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Title: UNO MAS FLOATING BOMB OMBDescription: fire a fire ball at the bomb omb fast then climb the donut blocks to see what happens
¬UNO MAS FLOATING BOMB OMB¬1b,i,1c,i,i,i,+71,1b,i,1c,i,i,i,+71,1b,i,1c,i,i,i,+71,1b,i,1c,i,p,!",i,i,+70,1b,i,1c,i,i,i,+71,1b,i,1c,i,i,i,+71,1b,i,1c,i,i,i,+71,1b,i,1c,i,i,i,+1,ap,i,i,i,+68,1b,i,1c,i,o,i,+3,i,i,+2,o,i,+62,i,i,+1,1b,i,1c,i,i,i,+3,ar,i,i,i,+2,ar,i,i,i,+2,ar,i,i,i,+2,ar,i,i,i,+54,1b,i,1c,i,k,i,+69,i,i,+1,1b,i,1c,i,i,i,+8,j,i,+16,i,i,+45,1b,i,1c,i,i,i,+8,j,i,+17,i,i,+44,1b,i,1c,i,i,i,+8,j,i,+17,i,i,+44,1e,i,1d,i,i,i,+8,j,i,+17,i,i,+55,j,i,+17,i,i,+55,j,i,+17,i,i,+55,j,i,+17,i,i,+55,j,i,+17,i,i,+55,j,i,+17,i,i,+55,j,i,+17,i,i,+55,j,i,+17,i,i,+190,i,i,i,i,¬i,+,1773,i,i,¬i,+,222,7i,7b,7k,i,+,70,7e,i,7e,i,+,70,7e,i,7e,i,+,70,7e,i,7e,i,+,70,7h,7b,7g,i,+,1251,i,i,¬¬1,1,72,2,-8,-8,0,0,:2,74,10,3,-8,-8,0,0,:¬74,24,300,1,14,7,1,8,5,1,player9084,x,x,x,1,0,
-Rodri
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here.Ok, I think i should be fine then since the user doesn't type anything themselves, they type in a number and it enters the phrase/word correlated with the number on the list These are the rules for cloud chat projects, as statedWhat if my cloud chat uses a whitelist of acceptable words?In short, if your cloud chat lets other users create their own sentences using letters or words, then it's not allowed. But if an user cannot create their own sentences and only use words and phrases individually from eachother, then it is allowed.
We will be removing all projects we see with cloud-chat functionality, even if they have whitelists.
What if I make a chat project that has other safeguards built in or rules listed in the instructions?
If others can type or enter their own responses, it still violates this policy.
What about projects that allow people to share emojis with each other, or that use a few pre-made sentences?
These are generally fine as long as they can't be used to share content that the people viewing the project can create themselves.
Malicondi
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These are the rules for cloud chat projects, as stated here.
What if my cloud chat uses a whitelist of acceptable words?In short, if your cloud chat lets other users create their own sentences using letters or words, then it's not allowed. But if an user cannot create their own sentences and only use words and phrases individually from eachother, then it is allowed.
We will be removing all projects we see with cloud-chat functionality, even if they have whitelists.
What if I make a chat project that has other safeguards built in or rules listed in the instructions?
If others can type or enter their own responses, it still violates this policy.
What about projects that allow people to share emojis with each other, or that use a few pre-made sentences?
These are generally fine as long as they can't be used to share content that the people viewing the project can create themselves.
medians
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The remix button had no icon and was orange, only appearing in the editor. It also showed if you were logged out but showed a log in prompt.
The report button (for projects) was grey and appeared like the other buttons, like this:
https://scratch.mit.edu/projects/897466526/ (click to change slides)
It also said Report this, like this (well this isn't the actual thing but yea):
The report button (for projects) was grey and appeared like the other buttons, like this:
https://scratch.mit.edu/projects/897466526/ (click to change slides)
It also said Report this, like this (well this isn't the actual thing but yea):
han614698
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Okay well that escalated quickly.But why? One of them is like bookmarking the project so that you can go back to it, the other is like the current like feature that YouTube has - it's not harming anything to have two.
Yeah I’m starting to realize that I’m just a d*mn idiot and my autistic brain is confused way too easy
It's not inherently a bad suggestion, it's just that removing/merging features doesn't really help anyone, especially since these features are completely different.
-Rodri
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i know full-on chats aren't allowed, but are only phrases allowed, or can you have a mix of words and phrases?
for example in the whitelist:
Hello!
How are you!
Good!
What're you doing?
Nothing.
Turtles!!!!!
for example in the whitelist:
Hello!
How are you!
Good!
What're you doing?
Nothing.
Turtles!!!!!
IAmSnekOfficail
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I figured out a system where by translating a username into numbers and storing it, you can make something that could work as a saving and loading system. However, the only issue is that I can not figure out how to allow more than one piece of data to be taken from a list which stores all of it at the same time.
Mar 28, 2024 00:30:47
close "discourage" suggestions (or other viable solution)
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han614698
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I feel like this is a good idea - ‘discourage’ suggestions do literally nothing, considering you either ban something or don't - no one is going to listen to discouraging.
Mar 28, 2024 00:30:40
Need idea for Scratch cat episode for the free shoutout! 2
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errorroblox1
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Hello guys! My idea is wipe off because idk or some coding or what you think about that! So can you give me idea about Scratch cat story's! AND I PROMIST I WILL GIVE YOU A FREE SHOUTOUT! thank you
when green flag clicked
think [Idea] for (2) secs
CRAZY_Clayton
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But why? One of them is like bookmarking the project so that you can go back to it, the other is like the current like feature that YouTube has - it's not harming anything to have two.
Yeah I’m starting to realize that I’m just a d*mn idiot and my autistic brain is confused way too easy
CRAZY_Clayton
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As an aesthetic scratcher..
Me if favorites were removed:
AND NOW THE DAY BLEEDS
AND THE NIGHT FALLS
AND YOU’RE NOT HERE
TO GET ME THROUGH IT ALL
I LET MY GUARD DOWN
AND THEN YOU-
alright now in all seriousness, it is a thing that people use their favs to make their profile look aesthetic by fav’ing a set of projects with aesthetic thumbnails. So they can’t fav anything, so they use the heart to show appreciation for projects instead. That would make alot of people mad if the fav and love were merged.
Okay I see your point but I wasn’t thinking to merge them, but just removing one, turn the remaining one into a toggle button that would show/hide the project on your fav- wait… I am so stupid that would just function the same as the current system LMAO
SnowdropSugar
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Critiquitaire for @rocksalmon800
This is some incredible imagery! You describe the place in such vivid detail, and it makes it feel like I'm almost there myself. It's very cool how you contrasted the last sentence of this paragraph with the “almost perfect” feel of the train car as well, which makes the reader a lot more curious and wanting to know more.
Love all the parts like this that show a contrast from what was expected of ladies at the time; it really helps to show personality here.
Considering that you do talk about the marriage right after this line, I feel like this part is a bit unnecessary, and it could be better to cut it and use the words for something else. I know you mentioned thinking of putting in some of the song lyrics to it — if you're still thinking of doing that, this could give you some room for that.
Ooh, love the beginnings of some conflict based on what other people are saying. Seeing how the little hints you gave earlier are all coming together here.
Again, love the way you lead up to this at first and then finally show it throughout the story. It makes it so fascinating to read to see Rebekah's character be revealed slowly throughout the story, and I really enjoyed you showing the contrast between the expectations of her, what others think she is and the kind of person she is, and it all-around just makes for a very well-rounded character.
As for my overall feedback, I don't have much for this. The description was on point, and I loved the way you punctuated the story by what other people were saying about Rebekah, etc. and how this, like I've said wayyy too many times earlier, shaped her as a character. To be honest, I can't say I know the song very well (although I did read through the lyrics once before reading your piece), but anyway, it was nice that I think even without the context of the song or knowing who Rebekah Harkness was, this story was still easy to follow.
Probably my biggest suggestion for you is about Rebekah's relationship with Bill. I know that it's only a maximum of 2000 words, and it's very challenging to get across your point in that amount and develop characters completely (which you did a great job of with Rebekah), so I understand why it was this way, but I felt like their relationship was very rushed. I wish I could have gotten more of a chance to get to know him and their relationship, so if you have any extra words, I think they should definitely be put toward that. If you could even plant the idea of them a paragraph earlier, too, that could give the reader more of a chance to get to know him as well
This is more of a minor thing, but I don't know if it was intentional, but as much as I felt like I knew and understood Rebekah as a character, I didn't feel like I was ever in her head, or like she was completely real to me. I feel like if you could give her thoughts a bit more of a voice in this story, it would make her seem a bit more there, you know? Especially because Rebekah Harkness was a real person. I don't know if this makes sense, so just let me know if you need me to rephrase this and explain it better.
As for whether this would be a fanfiction entry or a main competition entry…I think it's more of a question of what you had in mind while doing this. To be honest, it could really qualify for either, so if you have anything else you really want to enter, you could always just enter that and put this one in the other category. If not, I'd say if you're trying to retell the story of Rebekah Harkness, put it in the main entries category. But if you're basing this more on the song, then go with fanfiction, I'd say.
Anyway, best of luck to you on this entry, though I doubt you'll be needing it! <3
rebekah sighed, watching the blur of quaint towns and lazy fields pass by her window. she propped her heels up on the seat and relished the solitude of her empty train car, closing her eyes lazily and letting the warm sunlight reach through the glass and caress her lovely face. a smile curled at the corners of her red-tinted lips, the curve of her mouth quirking in an enchanting, mischievous grin as she watched the landscape slowly fade from dewy forests to untouched white-sand beaches studded with wispy, wind-tossed grass. her excitement grew the closer she drew to her train stop, bright blue nails tapping the window impatiently. she couldn’t wait for the trouble she would cause in rhode island.
This is some incredible imagery! You describe the place in such vivid detail, and it makes it feel like I'm almost there myself. It's very cool how you contrasted the last sentence of this paragraph with the “almost perfect” feel of the train car as well, which makes the reader a lot more curious and wanting to know more.
she hiked up her narrow, patterned skirt in a very un-ladylike manner as she clambered onto a bicycle, heading for town.
Love all the parts like this that show a contrast from what was expected of ladies at the time; it really helps to show personality here.
they got married soon after.
Considering that you do talk about the marriage right after this line, I feel like this part is a bit unnecessary, and it could be better to cut it and use the words for something else. I know you mentioned thinking of putting in some of the song lyrics to it — if you're still thinking of doing that, this could give you some room for that.
“who is this rebekah, anyways? how did she capture the heart of william hale harkness, the richest bachelor our town has ever seen?”
“i heard she used to live in saint louis and loved the ballet.”
“i’ve heard it said that she spiked the punch at her sister’s debutante ball with mineral oil.”
“one of her old school friends told me that rebekah told everyone that she ‘set out to do everything bad’.”
“ooh, i’ve heard she married her first husband just because she ‘didn’t have anything better to do’. I hope she doesn’t break poor bill’s heart.”
Ooh, love the beginnings of some conflict based on what other people are saying. Seeing how the little hints you gave earlier are all coming together here.
“ah, yes. especially the woman. i wonder what she’ll do, now that she’s had such fun destroying our town… ”
Again, love the way you lead up to this at first and then finally show it throughout the story. It makes it so fascinating to read to see Rebekah's character be revealed slowly throughout the story, and I really enjoyed you showing the contrast between the expectations of her, what others think she is and the kind of person she is, and it all-around just makes for a very well-rounded character.
As for my overall feedback, I don't have much for this. The description was on point, and I loved the way you punctuated the story by what other people were saying about Rebekah, etc. and how this, like I've said wayyy too many times earlier, shaped her as a character. To be honest, I can't say I know the song very well (although I did read through the lyrics once before reading your piece), but anyway, it was nice that I think even without the context of the song or knowing who Rebekah Harkness was, this story was still easy to follow.
Probably my biggest suggestion for you is about Rebekah's relationship with Bill. I know that it's only a maximum of 2000 words, and it's very challenging to get across your point in that amount and develop characters completely (which you did a great job of with Rebekah), so I understand why it was this way, but I felt like their relationship was very rushed. I wish I could have gotten more of a chance to get to know him and their relationship, so if you have any extra words, I think they should definitely be put toward that. If you could even plant the idea of them a paragraph earlier, too, that could give the reader more of a chance to get to know him as well
This is more of a minor thing, but I don't know if it was intentional, but as much as I felt like I knew and understood Rebekah as a character, I didn't feel like I was ever in her head, or like she was completely real to me. I feel like if you could give her thoughts a bit more of a voice in this story, it would make her seem a bit more there, you know? Especially because Rebekah Harkness was a real person. I don't know if this makes sense, so just let me know if you need me to rephrase this and explain it better.
As for whether this would be a fanfiction entry or a main competition entry…I think it's more of a question of what you had in mind while doing this. To be honest, it could really qualify for either, so if you have anything else you really want to enter, you could always just enter that and put this one in the other category. If not, I'd say if you're trying to retell the story of Rebekah Harkness, put it in the main entries category. But if you're basing this more on the song, then go with fanfiction, I'd say.
Anyway, best of luck to you on this entry, though I doubt you'll be needing it! <3
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