SnowdropSugar
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Critique for Recca
Just going to start off by saying that your outline is so very Recca, and to be honest, I love that.
Also, why does the intro sort of remind me of Sherlock? “Not a psychopath. A serial killer.”
Anyway, critique now! So I really loved this piece, and I found it to be excellent entertainment. The characters are just so real and funny, and it’s almost like they could actually exist in real life. They had so much (and forgive me for using this to describe characters, but my brain just isn’t really working at the moment) character, and I love that about your writing.
As for some suggestions, for a lot of parts in the middle, you didn’t have dialogue tags, so I wasn’t really sure who was speaking at which time, which made it pretty confusing at times and a little harder to follow. It could really be as simple as just saying “(someone) said,” nothing too fancy, because you don’t need to detract from the actual dialogue. Just adding that would help to keep the reader a little more focused on the story.
Obviously in your piece, there’s also a lot of dialogue (which, of course, I do love), so my second suggestion would just be to break it up a bit more. Whether it be with dialogue tags, punctuating words by actions (say, describing gestures, or someone standing up as they speak), or just a bit of description (in a sort of mystery, this could definitely be good), or anything else, just adding something in between them could make it read more like a story and less like a script, unless that was what you were going for.
That’s about all I can think of, to be honest, since this was such a fun read, and my goodness, from the way you made it sound, it was like you thought it wasn’t good at all. Well, anyway, I most certainly enjoyed it, at least.
Just going to start off by saying that your outline is so very Recca, and to be honest, I love that.
Also, why does the intro sort of remind me of Sherlock? “Not a psychopath. A serial killer.”
Anyway, critique now! So I really loved this piece, and I found it to be excellent entertainment. The characters are just so real and funny, and it’s almost like they could actually exist in real life. They had so much (and forgive me for using this to describe characters, but my brain just isn’t really working at the moment) character, and I love that about your writing.
As for some suggestions, for a lot of parts in the middle, you didn’t have dialogue tags, so I wasn’t really sure who was speaking at which time, which made it pretty confusing at times and a little harder to follow. It could really be as simple as just saying “(someone) said,” nothing too fancy, because you don’t need to detract from the actual dialogue. Just adding that would help to keep the reader a little more focused on the story.
Obviously in your piece, there’s also a lot of dialogue (which, of course, I do love), so my second suggestion would just be to break it up a bit more. Whether it be with dialogue tags, punctuating words by actions (say, describing gestures, or someone standing up as they speak), or just a bit of description (in a sort of mystery, this could definitely be good), or anything else, just adding something in between them could make it read more like a story and less like a script, unless that was what you were going for.
That’s about all I can think of, to be honest, since this was such a fun read, and my goodness, from the way you made it sound, it was like you thought it wasn’t good at all. Well, anyway, I most certainly enjoyed it, at least.