Mar 31, 2024 14:05:40
Sandy's Thread (for writing, history, and other stuff)
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Sandy-Dunes
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Critique for Summer <3
Hi Summer! Overall, this is a super cool piece. I liked the backstory and the worldbuilding was pretty well-thought out especially in terms of architecture and stuff. Like you said, though, the pacing definitely could use some work, especially in the second half of the story. I also thought that the characters were pretty interesting: mostly Gale ahaha but honestly the MC had a personality too!! Although I would maybe feature Ove a bit more in the later part of the story. I would also maybe characterize Mahi a bit more, but the scene with the sand kinda showed her character pretty well. I mean, well enough for the purposes of Relia's character arc!!
Hi Summer! Overall, this is a super cool piece. I liked the backstory and the worldbuilding was pretty well-thought out especially in terms of architecture and stuff. Like you said, though, the pacing definitely could use some work, especially in the second half of the story. I also thought that the characters were pretty interesting: mostly Gale ahaha but honestly the MC had a personality too!! Although I would maybe feature Ove a bit more in the later part of the story. I would also maybe characterize Mahi a bit more, but the scene with the sand kinda showed her character pretty well. I mean, well enough for the purposes of Relia's character arc!!