Mar 30, 2024 18:21:16
Mari's Writing Thread // March and April
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Weekly // Sun, 24/25
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PT 1 :
The main character experiences the loss of her two parents and lives with her aunt and uncle who do not treat her well.
The setting starts off in the real world, the main character’s brother finds a message laying near the old well. The well led to a magical world.
The main character lives with her brother, aunt, and uncle
The magical world is where the main character learns that she cannot let the loss of her parents take control of her life. Ever since they died, she felt lonely and didn’t think that she will live her life without them.
Before she discovered the magical world, she was a slave of her aunt and uncle. They didn’t treat her nor her brother as part of the family. Her cousins also treat her like that too.
Her cousins pushed her and her brother down the well and found another note; they believed this was their chance to be free.
When they are in this academy, things kind of work out. Some things didn’t - some children didn’t like that they were here, some just didn’t care at all.
When the main character and her brother discover they were related to a powerful family, they are shocked. They weren’t all that shocked though
Near the end they hugged their mean aunt, uncle, and cousins and didn’t care what they thought.
(229 Words)
==================
Exposition :
The main character and her brother are forced to live with their aunt, uncle, and cousins after the loss of their parents. However, things didn’t work out because their aunt and uncle didn’t treat them as part of the family – they forced them to do ALL the work. They even made them MAKE EVERY meal. Now that they were forced into this situation, they needed a way to free themselves from this chaos – this happened after they were pushed down a well by their spoiled little cousins…
After they fell down the well, they needed to find a safe place to stay, then they found an academy.
(107 Words)
=================
Elements: Foreshadowing, plot twist, open ending, cliffhanger, flashback, new conflict.
=================
Story : (Rough Draft)
(NOTE: Story is a bit long, the format looked better on the word processor I used <3)
My parents died a few weeks ago, my brother and I had to move into my aunt and uncle’s house… I mean that is fine! But the problem was that my brother and I did all the work. We made them breakfast, lunch, and dinner. We cleaned up the house, did ALL the chores, and cleaned everyone’s rooms! I know this sounds crazy, but I know they are doing this because they hate my parents!
“Rosy, clean our rooms.” She looked at me disgusted face. “And you look so much like your mother… that long red hair… And Joan! Make us breakfast!”
“Aunt Lucy!” I say before heading upstairs, “When will I ever get a life! Get full-time in school or anything!”
She looked at me more disgusted, “Go. Clean. Our. Rooms. Now!”
I walk upstairs with anger bursting inside of me, it is fine. It is fine. No, it is not fine! And what does she want from my red hair? I walked upstairs frowning more, I saw Joan stomping downstairs still frowning more. I look at him waving as my cousin knocked me onto the floor.
“Haha!” She laughs, “You could not even bare to punch me downstairs—oh wait! You did!”
She started to slide on the staircase and when she reached the bottom she started crying. “Mama! R-Rosy pushed me downstairs!”
I ran to somebody’s room and started to clean it. When I walked downstairs after I cleaned everyone’s rooms, my aunt grabbed my arm and threw me towards the couch.
“You despicable child!” She stared at me before grabbing my hair, “Explain why you pushed your cousin downstairs!”
“I didn’t!” I claim, “I didn’t!”
My aunt then yelled, “No more breaks for you! You are going to pay for what you did to Lina!”
Lina stares at me for a split second before turning over to my aunt, “Mama! Cousin is mean!”
“Yeah, she is!” My aunt then started to hug Lina.
Me and my brother walked outside and looked over to the well, suddenly Lina came running towards us and yelled. “Haha! You will pay for what your family had down to Mama!”
Our other cousins came over and pushed us down the well, “This is the end of us brother!” I say, before closing my eyes.
I woke up and we were in a pile of leaves, the world was… weird. My brother looks at me and sighs, “Sister! We would not have entered this place if you have not pushed Lina down the staircase!”
“I-I didn’t!” I said before turning my head around, “Please, please, please believe me!”
He did not reply but helped me get back up. My legs wabbled a bit before I could stand on my legs. We arrived near a giant academy; I froze before turning over to my brother. “J-Joan, what is that giant academy looking thingy?”
Before replying he started walking over to the rusted gate, after touching, it had glowed a bright golden color. I walk over to him and my eyes glitter, “It’s beautiful!”
We walked in the place and the ground was covered with bright golden flowers. The academy got more beautiful when we went through the gate. It was less scary to be honest.
I then heard some whispers and saw somebody walking out of the academy’s side. I could not tell what they were saying, but another walked out. Suddenly they noticed me and my brother and walked over.
The blonde-hair one waved her hand and said, “Oh hello! Hi new arrivals, I am Solara. And this is my sister Luna.”
Luna had a quieter personality than Solara. Luna looked at me and said, “And you two are Rosalia and Joan? The-”
Solara then interrupted Luna before she could finish her last sentence, “Do not worry about that last sentence! It is not important!”
Luna pulled Solara towards her and whispered in Solara’s ear.
After they were done Solara then said, “Ah, that is right! Time to see your personality traits to sort you!”
We walked into the magical building; everyone was walking away. We entered a room, and I sat down on a comfortable ground. “First up you Joan.”
Joan walked over to the crystal and touched it, it glowed golden like the flowers that we saw.
“You have a bold personality trait… your strong, kind, and brave… Thats right! You will be sorted in our adventurer category; you will receive your schedule tomorrow…” He left off with someone to his dorm room.
“Time for you Rosalia,”
I got near the crystal and felt a pinch in my back. I touched it before everything darkened slowly… I felt myself suffocating, yet the air around me dropped temperature—colder. I stayed calm before everything brightened.
“You are resourceful, kind, cheerful, sweet, creative, brave, strong, and are ready to take on any risks or anything—bold. You are a bit introverted also…”
That was Solara’s voice, but I heard somebody else whispering, “Moonlight…” Did Joan hear these weird whispers? I started to breathe slowly, my heart began thumping, I heard the beats in my ears.
I wake up and face my head around everyone around me. Luna and Solara. Solara smiled, “You are like my sister… Luna will mentor you.”
Luna sighed softly before facing me again, “Follow me… Moonlight.”
I was following her over to the dorm room, when I entered it, I only saw one girl. “Since Moonlight’s are exceedingly rare. There is barely anyone in this dorm. Meaning that you have enough space. Enjoy.”
Before she left, she then said. “Also, Moonlight is receiving weird visions on full moon. Tomorrow is full moon when your powers are mostly active, so we will be training at night.”
<><><><>
It was the next day; I was eating dinner. I was sitting next to other fellow moonlights—no I was sitting next to this incredibly quiet girl.
Hello, I am Rosy. What is your name?” I ask.
The quiet girl then said, “Tranquilo…”
“Oh! Hello Tranquilo!” I said, the girl then looked at me confused.
“Mi nombre es Adriana!” The girl frowned at me before turning back to her book.
“Oh! Hi… Adriana!” I speak.
She looked at me again and frowned more. “Hola.”
Luna then walked towards me and pulled my arm, “C’mon Rosy, it is time for training. Es hora de irse, Adriana!”
Adriana nodded and got up. We walked outside and saw the full moon. I always loved the full moon…
We were then training I got the moves quickly—but Adriana did not.
“Adri! It is all right,” Adriana looked at me and smiled.
“Thanks,” She said, “And yeah I know English too.”
We walked back inside… I noticed the sky was brighter than usual. And noticed that there was stuff in the sky, it is nothing.
<><><><>
The night was getting colder, the summer was also getting colder. The golden flowers that bloomed had just died. And the golden gates to the academy were rusted and brown.
A young shapeshifter appeared out of nowhere and decided to destroy the entire place for good…
<><><><>
We had four WHOLE months of training; the flowers began to die. And the Summer began to become colder.
I had a weird vision two weeks ago, during the night of the full moon. I never told anyone but my brother, you might think it is weird I did not tell my mentor. But she seems to not know a lot about visions to be honest.
I was here sitting down in the meeting room, Luna, Solara, and the other masters were standing on the stage and were looking down onto us. “We have chosen a few children to stop HELP us stop this… we know that the banished Shapeshifting, Falerii, has caused this.”
Luna stepped up and said, “And those children are… Adriana, Joan, Rosy, and Victoria.”
Luna then told us to come up here, I then grabbed Luna and told her to come with me for a second.
We entered a small room. Luna asked, “What do you need to talk about?”
“A-A vision!” I say nervously. Luna sighs and then looks at me.
“What was it about?”
“I should’ve told you, but I couldn’t!” I say, “I thought I could handle it, but it is meaning was so strong! Falerii is seeking revenge for her banishment! She will flood the place with darkness intel everyone is gone…”
Luna exclaims and stands up, “You should have told me! We would have prepared!”
“I-I, thought I could handle this myself!”
Luna looks at me before exiting the room, “A good Moonlight would never keep harmful secrets—never betray! You were not meant to be a Moonlight; you were not meant to be here…”
She left the room, slamming the door. I stood in the corner trying to cry all my fears out. She is right! I was never meant to be here… All my cousins were right…
But they are not, A voice said.
“What do you mean voice?” I said looking around. I felt so crazy after the voice replied.
You were forced into living with them, I have been following you all your life. The voice sounded so calm, so sweet also.
“But everyone said I’m such a failure!” I spoke.
Remember those dreams before you visited this realm? The voice said.
It sounded just like my mother… “Are you mother?”
Yes… I love you so much! You are related to a magical family—me! The voice said, she appeared as a glowing figure I walk to her and touch her hand
Know I love you with all my heart, Falerii is waiting for you… My mom’s voice said, the figure disappeared.
I walk outside and walk to Falerii who looked at me with curiosity. “Hello foolish child!”
I look at her, “You are right, I am foolish.”
Falerii smiles, “I am right? Usually, those people would start insulting me… but you? Your different…”
“Different…?” I question, she twirls her hair around before walking to me.
“Yes, you're different… you are a Starlight Daughter…” She says, then snickers.
“Why do you want to destroy the school?”
Falerii sighs and then said, “I never wanted to destroy the school. I suppose I can tell you the story, I was a young girl, about your age. I fell down a well and fell into a pile of leaves and flowers. I found the academy and two people walked out… Gabriella and Fiona. Sisters. I was mentored by Fiona, the quietest sister, she then got mad at me when I did not tell her I had a vision about a darkness surrounding the school… I tried to save the school—but Fiona claimed I was the one…”
“So… why was I brought here?” I ask, “Why are our stories so similar?”
“I was your mother’s sister…” Falerii says, “And I promised your mother that I’d protect you.”
Falerii’s chestnut brown hair transformed into long locks of beautiful red hair as she walked to me. “I am your second aunt… That is where your hair, and your personality came from.”
Suddenly Luna and Solara walked out of the school. “Falerii! Why are you holding the hands of Rosy?”
“Behind you!” Falerii yells as a new figure appears behind Luna and Solara.
Falerii then exclaims, “That is the person who caused it! Not me!”
I quickly use my powers to stop the person. It was Crimson, the evil witch. I continued trying to stop her.
“Haha!” Crimson laughs manically, “Young Rosy can’t stop me!”
I make a full ball of moonlight and launch it towards Crimson before she can launch her powers towards me.
She falls to the ground and disappears, “She is not gone.” Falerii said, “And she WILL come back, you need to return home. We will call you back when we need you.”
My brother stands next to me and said, “You are braver than me, I love you sister.”
Everything darkened once more, and we were being pulled out of the well by our cousins.
“Come on Sephanie! Mom is not happy we pushed them down the well, help us now!” Daisy said.
Sephanie helps pull us out and we walked back inside. My aunt walks over to me and asks, “Are you alright?”
“Yes!” I say, hugging her tightly.
Sephanie walks over to me and then apologizes, “I’m sorry for pushing you down the well!”
“I’m sorry for pushing you down the staircase.” I speak. I know I did not do that, but I will apologize anyway.
Aunt walks over to me and says, “So you did push Sephanie downstairs!”
Sephanie gulps before looking back to her mom and said, “Actually… I lied!”
Her mother screamed at her loudly before making her clean her room.
<><><>
It was nighttime, I woke up to the sound of screaming outside. I got scared, but the only creepy thing was that it sounded so odd…
The End… Or is it?
<><><><><><><>
Story (Final Draft w/ critique)
My parents died a few weeks ago, my brother and I had to move into my aunt and uncle’s house… I mean that is fine! But the problem was that my brother and I did all the work. We made them breakfast, lunch, and dinner. We cleaned up the house, did ALL the chores, and cleaned everyone’s rooms! I know this sounds crazy, but I know they are doing this because they hated my parents!
“Rosy, clean our rooms.” She looked at me disgusted face. “And you look so much like your mother… that long red hair… And Joan! Make us breakfast!”
“Aunt Lucy!” I say before heading upstairs, “When will I ever get a life! Get full-time in school or anything!”
She looked at me more disgusted, “Go. Clean. Our. Rooms. Now!”
I walk upstairs with anger bursting inside of me, it is fine. It is fine. No, it is not fine! And what does she want from my red hair? I walked upstairs frowning more, I also saw Joan stomping downstairs. I look at him waving as my cousin knocked me onto the floor.
“Haha!” She laughs, “You could not even bare to punch me downstairs—oh wait! You did!”
She started to slide on the staircase and when she reached the bottom she started crying. “Mama! R-Rosy pushed me downstairs!”
I ran to somebody’s room and started to clean it. When I walked downstairs after I cleaned everyone’s rooms, my aunt grabbed my arm and threw me towards the couch.
“You despicable child!” She stared at me before grabbing my hair, “Explain why you pushed your cousin downstairs!”
“I didn’t!” I claim, “I didn’t!”
My aunt then yelled, “No more breaks for you! You are going to pay for what you did to Lina!”
Lina stares at me for a split second before turning over to my aunt, “Mama! Cousin is mean!”
“Yeah, she is!” My aunt then started to hug Lina.
Me and my brother walked outside and looked over to the well, suddenly Lina came running towards us and yelled. “Haha! You will pay for what your family had done to Mama!”
Our other cousins came over and pushed us down the well, “This is the end of us brother!” I say, before closing my eyes.
I woke up and we were in a pile of leaves, the world was… weird. My brother looks at me and sighs, “Sister! We would not have entered this place if you have not pushed Lina down the staircase!”
“I-I didn’t!” I said before turning my head around, “Please, please, please believe me!”
He did not reply but helped me get back up. My legs wabbled a bit before I could stand on my legs. We arrived near a giant academy; I froze before turning over to my brother. “J-Joan, what is that giant academy looking thingy?”
Before replying he started walking over to the rusted gate, after touching, it had glowed a bright golden color. I walk over to him and my eyes glitter, “It’s beautiful!”
We walked in the place and the ground was covered with bright golden flowers. The academy got more beautiful when we went through the gate. It was less scary to be honest.
I then heard some whispers and saw somebody walking out of the academy’s side. I could not tell what they were saying, but another walked out. Suddenly they noticed me and my brother and walked over.
The blonde-hair one waved her hand and said, “Oh hello new arrivals, I am Solara. And this is my sister Luna.”
Luna had a quieter personality than Solara. Luna looked at me and said, “And you two are Rosalia and Joan? The-”
Solara then interrupted Luna before she could finish her last sentence, “Do not worry about that last sentence! It is not important!”
Luna pulled Solara towards her and whispered in Solara’s ear.
After they were done Solara then said, “Ah, that is right! Time to see your personality traits to sort you!”
We walked into the magical building; everyone was walking away. We entered a room, and I sat down on a comfortable ground. “First up you Joan.”
Joan walked over to the crystal and touched it, it glowed golden like the flowers that we saw.
“You have a bold personality trait… your strong, kind, and brave… Thats right! You will be sorted in our adventurer category; you will receive your schedule tomorrow…” He left off with someone to his dorm room.
“Time for you Rosalia,”
I got near the crystal and felt a pinch in my back. I touched it before everything darkened slowly… I felt myself suffocating, yet the air around me dropped temperature—colder. I stayed calm before everything brightened.
“You are resourceful, kind, cheerful, sweet, creative, brave, strong, and are ready to take on any risks or anything—bold. You are a bit introverted also…”
That was Solara’s voice, but I heard somebody else whispering, “Moonlight…” Did Joan hear these weird whispers? I started to breathe slowly, my heart began thumping, I heard the beats in my ears.
I wake up and face my head around everyone around me. Luna and Solara. Solara smiled, “You are like my sister… Luna will mentor you.”
Luna sighed softly before facing me again, “Follow me… Moonlight.”
I was following her over to the dorm room, when I entered it, I only saw one girl. “Since Moonlight’s are exceedingly rare. There is barely anyone in this dorm. Meaning that you have enough space. Enjoy.”
Before she left, she then said. “Also, Moonlight is receiving weird visions on full moon. Tomorrow is full moon when your powers are mostly active, so we will be training at night.”
<><><><>
It was the next day; I was eating dinner. I was sitting next to other fellow moonlights—no I was sitting next to this incredibly quiet girl.
Hello, I am Rosy. What is your name?” I ask.
The quiet girl then said, “Tranquilo…”
“Oh! Hello Tranquilo!” I said, the girl then looked at me confused.
“Mi nombre es Adriana!” The girl frowned at me before turning back to her book.
“Oh! Hi… Adriana!” I speak.
She looked at me again and frowned more. “Hola.”
Luna then walked towards me and pulled my arm, “C’mon Rosy, it is time for training. Es hora de irse, Adriana!”
Adriana nodded and got up. We walked outside and saw the full moon. I always loved the full moon…
We were then training I got the moves quickly—but Adriana did not.
“Adri! It is all right,” Adriana looked at me and smiled.
“Thanks,” She said, “And yeah I know English too.”
We walked back inside… I noticed the sky was brighter than usual. And noticed that there was stuff in the sky, it is nothing.
<><><><>
The night was getting colder, the summer was also getting colder. The golden flowers that bloomed had just died. And the golden gates to the academy were rusted and brown.
A young shapeshifter appeared out of nowhere and decided to destroy the entire place for good…
<><><><>
We had four WHOLE months of training; the flowers began to die. And the Summer began to become colder.
I had a weird vision two weeks ago, during the night of the full moon. I never told anyone but my brother, you might think it is weird I did not tell my mentor. But she seems to not know a lot about visions to be honest.
I was here sitting down in the meeting room, Luna, Solara, and the other masters were standing on the stage and were looking down onto us. “We have chosen a few children to stop HELP us stop this… we know that the banished Shapeshifting, Falerii, has caused this.”
Luna stepped up and said, “And those children are… Adriana, Joan, Rosy, and Victoria.”
Luna then told us to come up here, I then grabbed Luna and told her to come with me for a second.
We entered a small room. Luna asked, “What do you need to talk about?”
“A-A vision!” I say nervously. Luna sighs and then looks at me.
“What was it about?”
“I should’ve told you, but I couldn’t!” I say, “I thought I could handle it, but it is meaning was so strong! Falerii is seeking revenge for her banishment! She will flood the place with darkness intel everyone is gone…”
Luna exclaims and stands up, “You should have told me! We would have prepared!”
“I-I, thought I could handle this myself!”
Luna looks at me before exiting the room, “A good Moonlight would never keep harmful secrets—never betray! You were not meant to be a Moonlight; you were not meant to be here…”
She left the room, slamming the door. I stood in the corner trying to cry all my fears out. She is right! I was never meant to be here… All my cousins were right…
But they are not, A voice said.
“What do you mean voice?” I said looking around. I felt so crazy after the voice replied.
You were forced into living with them, I have been following you all your life. The voice sounded so calm, so sweet also.
“But everyone said I’m such a failure!” I spoke.
Remember those dreams before you visited this realm? The voice said.
It sounded just like my mother… “Are you mother?”
Yes… I love you so much! You are related to a magical family—me! The voice said, she appeared as a glowing figure I walk to her and touch her hand
Know I love you with all my heart, Falerii is waiting for you… My mom’s voice said, the figure disappeared.
I walk outside and walk to Falerii who looked at me with curiosity. “Hello foolish child!”
I look at her, “You are right, I am foolish.”
Falerii smiles, “I am right? Usually, those people would start insulting me… but you? Your different…”
“Different…?” I question, she twirls her hair around before walking to me.
“Yes, you're different… you are a Starlight Daughter…” She says, then snickers.
“Why do you want to destroy the school?”
Falerii sighs and then said, “I never wanted to destroy the school. I suppose I can tell you the story, I was a young girl, about your age. I fell down a well and fell into a pile of leaves and flowers. I found the academy and two people walked out… Gabriella and Fiona. Sisters. I was mentored by Fiona, the quietest sister, she then got mad at me when I did not tell her I had a vision about a darkness surrounding the school… I tried to save the school—but Fiona claimed I was the one…”
“So… why was I brought here?” I ask, “Why are our stories so similar?”
“I was your mother’s sister…” Falerii says, “And I promised your mother that I’d protect you.”
Falerii’s chestnut brown hair transformed into long locks of beautiful red hair as she walked to me. “I am your second aunt… That is where your hair, and your personality came from.”
Suddenly Luna and Solara walked out of the school. “Falerii! Why are you holding the hands of Rosy?”
“Behind you!” Falerii yells as a new figure appears behind Luna and Solara.
Falerii then exclaims, “That is the person who caused it! Not me!”
I quickly use my powers to stop the person. It was Crimson, the evil witch. I continued trying to stop her.
“Haha!” Crimson laughs manically, “Young Rosy can’t stop me!”
I make a full ball of moonlight and launch it towards Crimson before she can launch her powers towards me.
She falls to the ground and disappears, “She is not gone.” Falerii said, “And she WILL come back, you need to return home. We will call you back when we need you.”
My brother stands next to me and said, “You are braver than me, I love you sister.”
Everything darkened once more, and we were being pulled out of the well by our cousins.
“Come on Sephanie! Mom is not happy we pushed them down the well, help us now!” Daisy said.
Sephanie helps pull us out and we walked back inside. My aunt walks over to me and asks, “Are you alright?”
“Yes!” I say, hugging her tightly.
Sephanie walks over to me and then apologizes, “I’m sorry for pushing you down the well!”
“I’m sorry for pushing you down the staircase.” I speak. I know I did not do that, but I will apologize anyway.
Aunt walks over to me and says, “So you did push Sephanie downstairs!”
Sephanie gulps before looking back to her mom and said, “Actually… I lied!”
Her mother screamed at her loudly before making her clean her room.
It was nighttime, I woke up to the sound of screaming outside. I got scared, but the only creepy thing was that it sounded so odd…
The End… Or is it?
(word count: 2163)
Total Words : 2,499
Points : 3500
=====================
PT 1 :
The main character experiences the loss of her two parents and lives with her aunt and uncle who do not treat her well.
The setting starts off in the real world, the main character’s brother finds a message laying near the old well. The well led to a magical world.
The main character lives with her brother, aunt, and uncle
The magical world is where the main character learns that she cannot let the loss of her parents take control of her life. Ever since they died, she felt lonely and didn’t think that she will live her life without them.
Before she discovered the magical world, she was a slave of her aunt and uncle. They didn’t treat her nor her brother as part of the family. Her cousins also treat her like that too.
Her cousins pushed her and her brother down the well and found another note; they believed this was their chance to be free.
When they are in this academy, things kind of work out. Some things didn’t - some children didn’t like that they were here, some just didn’t care at all.
When the main character and her brother discover they were related to a powerful family, they are shocked. They weren’t all that shocked though
Near the end they hugged their mean aunt, uncle, and cousins and didn’t care what they thought.
(229 Words)
==================
Exposition :
The main character and her brother are forced to live with their aunt, uncle, and cousins after the loss of their parents. However, things didn’t work out because their aunt and uncle didn’t treat them as part of the family – they forced them to do ALL the work. They even made them MAKE EVERY meal. Now that they were forced into this situation, they needed a way to free themselves from this chaos – this happened after they were pushed down a well by their spoiled little cousins…
After they fell down the well, they needed to find a safe place to stay, then they found an academy.
(107 Words)
=================
Elements: Foreshadowing, plot twist, open ending, cliffhanger, flashback, new conflict.
=================
Story : (Rough Draft)
(NOTE: Story is a bit long, the format looked better on the word processor I used <3)
My parents died a few weeks ago, my brother and I had to move into my aunt and uncle’s house… I mean that is fine! But the problem was that my brother and I did all the work. We made them breakfast, lunch, and dinner. We cleaned up the house, did ALL the chores, and cleaned everyone’s rooms! I know this sounds crazy, but I know they are doing this because they hate my parents!
“Rosy, clean our rooms.” She looked at me disgusted face. “And you look so much like your mother… that long red hair… And Joan! Make us breakfast!”
“Aunt Lucy!” I say before heading upstairs, “When will I ever get a life! Get full-time in school or anything!”
She looked at me more disgusted, “Go. Clean. Our. Rooms. Now!”
I walk upstairs with anger bursting inside of me, it is fine. It is fine. No, it is not fine! And what does she want from my red hair? I walked upstairs frowning more, I saw Joan stomping downstairs still frowning more. I look at him waving as my cousin knocked me onto the floor.
“Haha!” She laughs, “You could not even bare to punch me downstairs—oh wait! You did!”
She started to slide on the staircase and when she reached the bottom she started crying. “Mama! R-Rosy pushed me downstairs!”
I ran to somebody’s room and started to clean it. When I walked downstairs after I cleaned everyone’s rooms, my aunt grabbed my arm and threw me towards the couch.
“You despicable child!” She stared at me before grabbing my hair, “Explain why you pushed your cousin downstairs!”
“I didn’t!” I claim, “I didn’t!”
My aunt then yelled, “No more breaks for you! You are going to pay for what you did to Lina!”
Lina stares at me for a split second before turning over to my aunt, “Mama! Cousin is mean!”
“Yeah, she is!” My aunt then started to hug Lina.
Me and my brother walked outside and looked over to the well, suddenly Lina came running towards us and yelled. “Haha! You will pay for what your family had down to Mama!”
Our other cousins came over and pushed us down the well, “This is the end of us brother!” I say, before closing my eyes.
I woke up and we were in a pile of leaves, the world was… weird. My brother looks at me and sighs, “Sister! We would not have entered this place if you have not pushed Lina down the staircase!”
“I-I didn’t!” I said before turning my head around, “Please, please, please believe me!”
He did not reply but helped me get back up. My legs wabbled a bit before I could stand on my legs. We arrived near a giant academy; I froze before turning over to my brother. “J-Joan, what is that giant academy looking thingy?”
Before replying he started walking over to the rusted gate, after touching, it had glowed a bright golden color. I walk over to him and my eyes glitter, “It’s beautiful!”
We walked in the place and the ground was covered with bright golden flowers. The academy got more beautiful when we went through the gate. It was less scary to be honest.
I then heard some whispers and saw somebody walking out of the academy’s side. I could not tell what they were saying, but another walked out. Suddenly they noticed me and my brother and walked over.
The blonde-hair one waved her hand and said, “Oh hello! Hi new arrivals, I am Solara. And this is my sister Luna.”
Luna had a quieter personality than Solara. Luna looked at me and said, “And you two are Rosalia and Joan? The-”
Solara then interrupted Luna before she could finish her last sentence, “Do not worry about that last sentence! It is not important!”
Luna pulled Solara towards her and whispered in Solara’s ear.
After they were done Solara then said, “Ah, that is right! Time to see your personality traits to sort you!”
We walked into the magical building; everyone was walking away. We entered a room, and I sat down on a comfortable ground. “First up you Joan.”
Joan walked over to the crystal and touched it, it glowed golden like the flowers that we saw.
“You have a bold personality trait… your strong, kind, and brave… Thats right! You will be sorted in our adventurer category; you will receive your schedule tomorrow…” He left off with someone to his dorm room.
“Time for you Rosalia,”
I got near the crystal and felt a pinch in my back. I touched it before everything darkened slowly… I felt myself suffocating, yet the air around me dropped temperature—colder. I stayed calm before everything brightened.
“You are resourceful, kind, cheerful, sweet, creative, brave, strong, and are ready to take on any risks or anything—bold. You are a bit introverted also…”
That was Solara’s voice, but I heard somebody else whispering, “Moonlight…” Did Joan hear these weird whispers? I started to breathe slowly, my heart began thumping, I heard the beats in my ears.
I wake up and face my head around everyone around me. Luna and Solara. Solara smiled, “You are like my sister… Luna will mentor you.”
Luna sighed softly before facing me again, “Follow me… Moonlight.”
I was following her over to the dorm room, when I entered it, I only saw one girl. “Since Moonlight’s are exceedingly rare. There is barely anyone in this dorm. Meaning that you have enough space. Enjoy.”
Before she left, she then said. “Also, Moonlight is receiving weird visions on full moon. Tomorrow is full moon when your powers are mostly active, so we will be training at night.”
<><><><>
It was the next day; I was eating dinner. I was sitting next to other fellow moonlights—no I was sitting next to this incredibly quiet girl.
Hello, I am Rosy. What is your name?” I ask.
The quiet girl then said, “Tranquilo…”
“Oh! Hello Tranquilo!” I said, the girl then looked at me confused.
“Mi nombre es Adriana!” The girl frowned at me before turning back to her book.
“Oh! Hi… Adriana!” I speak.
She looked at me again and frowned more. “Hola.”
Luna then walked towards me and pulled my arm, “C’mon Rosy, it is time for training. Es hora de irse, Adriana!”
Adriana nodded and got up. We walked outside and saw the full moon. I always loved the full moon…
We were then training I got the moves quickly—but Adriana did not.
“Adri! It is all right,” Adriana looked at me and smiled.
“Thanks,” She said, “And yeah I know English too.”
We walked back inside… I noticed the sky was brighter than usual. And noticed that there was stuff in the sky, it is nothing.
<><><><>
The night was getting colder, the summer was also getting colder. The golden flowers that bloomed had just died. And the golden gates to the academy were rusted and brown.
A young shapeshifter appeared out of nowhere and decided to destroy the entire place for good…
<><><><>
We had four WHOLE months of training; the flowers began to die. And the Summer began to become colder.
I had a weird vision two weeks ago, during the night of the full moon. I never told anyone but my brother, you might think it is weird I did not tell my mentor. But she seems to not know a lot about visions to be honest.
I was here sitting down in the meeting room, Luna, Solara, and the other masters were standing on the stage and were looking down onto us. “We have chosen a few children to stop HELP us stop this… we know that the banished Shapeshifting, Falerii, has caused this.”
Luna stepped up and said, “And those children are… Adriana, Joan, Rosy, and Victoria.”
Luna then told us to come up here, I then grabbed Luna and told her to come with me for a second.
We entered a small room. Luna asked, “What do you need to talk about?”
“A-A vision!” I say nervously. Luna sighs and then looks at me.
“What was it about?”
“I should’ve told you, but I couldn’t!” I say, “I thought I could handle it, but it is meaning was so strong! Falerii is seeking revenge for her banishment! She will flood the place with darkness intel everyone is gone…”
Luna exclaims and stands up, “You should have told me! We would have prepared!”
“I-I, thought I could handle this myself!”
Luna looks at me before exiting the room, “A good Moonlight would never keep harmful secrets—never betray! You were not meant to be a Moonlight; you were not meant to be here…”
She left the room, slamming the door. I stood in the corner trying to cry all my fears out. She is right! I was never meant to be here… All my cousins were right…
But they are not, A voice said.
“What do you mean voice?” I said looking around. I felt so crazy after the voice replied.
You were forced into living with them, I have been following you all your life. The voice sounded so calm, so sweet also.
“But everyone said I’m such a failure!” I spoke.
Remember those dreams before you visited this realm? The voice said.
It sounded just like my mother… “Are you mother?”
Yes… I love you so much! You are related to a magical family—me! The voice said, she appeared as a glowing figure I walk to her and touch her hand
Know I love you with all my heart, Falerii is waiting for you… My mom’s voice said, the figure disappeared.
I walk outside and walk to Falerii who looked at me with curiosity. “Hello foolish child!”
I look at her, “You are right, I am foolish.”
Falerii smiles, “I am right? Usually, those people would start insulting me… but you? Your different…”
“Different…?” I question, she twirls her hair around before walking to me.
“Yes, you're different… you are a Starlight Daughter…” She says, then snickers.
“Why do you want to destroy the school?”
Falerii sighs and then said, “I never wanted to destroy the school. I suppose I can tell you the story, I was a young girl, about your age. I fell down a well and fell into a pile of leaves and flowers. I found the academy and two people walked out… Gabriella and Fiona. Sisters. I was mentored by Fiona, the quietest sister, she then got mad at me when I did not tell her I had a vision about a darkness surrounding the school… I tried to save the school—but Fiona claimed I was the one…”
“So… why was I brought here?” I ask, “Why are our stories so similar?”
“I was your mother’s sister…” Falerii says, “And I promised your mother that I’d protect you.”
Falerii’s chestnut brown hair transformed into long locks of beautiful red hair as she walked to me. “I am your second aunt… That is where your hair, and your personality came from.”
Suddenly Luna and Solara walked out of the school. “Falerii! Why are you holding the hands of Rosy?”
“Behind you!” Falerii yells as a new figure appears behind Luna and Solara.
Falerii then exclaims, “That is the person who caused it! Not me!”
I quickly use my powers to stop the person. It was Crimson, the evil witch. I continued trying to stop her.
“Haha!” Crimson laughs manically, “Young Rosy can’t stop me!”
I make a full ball of moonlight and launch it towards Crimson before she can launch her powers towards me.
She falls to the ground and disappears, “She is not gone.” Falerii said, “And she WILL come back, you need to return home. We will call you back when we need you.”
My brother stands next to me and said, “You are braver than me, I love you sister.”
Everything darkened once more, and we were being pulled out of the well by our cousins.
“Come on Sephanie! Mom is not happy we pushed them down the well, help us now!” Daisy said.
Sephanie helps pull us out and we walked back inside. My aunt walks over to me and asks, “Are you alright?”
“Yes!” I say, hugging her tightly.
Sephanie walks over to me and then apologizes, “I’m sorry for pushing you down the well!”
“I’m sorry for pushing you down the staircase.” I speak. I know I did not do that, but I will apologize anyway.
Aunt walks over to me and says, “So you did push Sephanie downstairs!”
Sephanie gulps before looking back to her mom and said, “Actually… I lied!”
Her mother screamed at her loudly before making her clean her room.
<><><>
It was nighttime, I woke up to the sound of screaming outside. I got scared, but the only creepy thing was that it sounded so odd…
The End… Or is it?
<><><><><><><>
Story (Final Draft w/ critique)
My parents died a few weeks ago, my brother and I had to move into my aunt and uncle’s house… I mean that is fine! But the problem was that my brother and I did all the work. We made them breakfast, lunch, and dinner. We cleaned up the house, did ALL the chores, and cleaned everyone’s rooms! I know this sounds crazy, but I know they are doing this because they hated my parents!
“Rosy, clean our rooms.” She looked at me disgusted face. “And you look so much like your mother… that long red hair… And Joan! Make us breakfast!”
“Aunt Lucy!” I say before heading upstairs, “When will I ever get a life! Get full-time in school or anything!”
She looked at me more disgusted, “Go. Clean. Our. Rooms. Now!”
I walk upstairs with anger bursting inside of me, it is fine. It is fine. No, it is not fine! And what does she want from my red hair? I walked upstairs frowning more, I also saw Joan stomping downstairs. I look at him waving as my cousin knocked me onto the floor.
“Haha!” She laughs, “You could not even bare to punch me downstairs—oh wait! You did!”
She started to slide on the staircase and when she reached the bottom she started crying. “Mama! R-Rosy pushed me downstairs!”
I ran to somebody’s room and started to clean it. When I walked downstairs after I cleaned everyone’s rooms, my aunt grabbed my arm and threw me towards the couch.
“You despicable child!” She stared at me before grabbing my hair, “Explain why you pushed your cousin downstairs!”
“I didn’t!” I claim, “I didn’t!”
My aunt then yelled, “No more breaks for you! You are going to pay for what you did to Lina!”
Lina stares at me for a split second before turning over to my aunt, “Mama! Cousin is mean!”
“Yeah, she is!” My aunt then started to hug Lina.
Me and my brother walked outside and looked over to the well, suddenly Lina came running towards us and yelled. “Haha! You will pay for what your family had done to Mama!”
Our other cousins came over and pushed us down the well, “This is the end of us brother!” I say, before closing my eyes.
I woke up and we were in a pile of leaves, the world was… weird. My brother looks at me and sighs, “Sister! We would not have entered this place if you have not pushed Lina down the staircase!”
“I-I didn’t!” I said before turning my head around, “Please, please, please believe me!”
He did not reply but helped me get back up. My legs wabbled a bit before I could stand on my legs. We arrived near a giant academy; I froze before turning over to my brother. “J-Joan, what is that giant academy looking thingy?”
Before replying he started walking over to the rusted gate, after touching, it had glowed a bright golden color. I walk over to him and my eyes glitter, “It’s beautiful!”
We walked in the place and the ground was covered with bright golden flowers. The academy got more beautiful when we went through the gate. It was less scary to be honest.
I then heard some whispers and saw somebody walking out of the academy’s side. I could not tell what they were saying, but another walked out. Suddenly they noticed me and my brother and walked over.
The blonde-hair one waved her hand and said, “Oh hello new arrivals, I am Solara. And this is my sister Luna.”
Luna had a quieter personality than Solara. Luna looked at me and said, “And you two are Rosalia and Joan? The-”
Solara then interrupted Luna before she could finish her last sentence, “Do not worry about that last sentence! It is not important!”
Luna pulled Solara towards her and whispered in Solara’s ear.
After they were done Solara then said, “Ah, that is right! Time to see your personality traits to sort you!”
We walked into the magical building; everyone was walking away. We entered a room, and I sat down on a comfortable ground. “First up you Joan.”
Joan walked over to the crystal and touched it, it glowed golden like the flowers that we saw.
“You have a bold personality trait… your strong, kind, and brave… Thats right! You will be sorted in our adventurer category; you will receive your schedule tomorrow…” He left off with someone to his dorm room.
“Time for you Rosalia,”
I got near the crystal and felt a pinch in my back. I touched it before everything darkened slowly… I felt myself suffocating, yet the air around me dropped temperature—colder. I stayed calm before everything brightened.
“You are resourceful, kind, cheerful, sweet, creative, brave, strong, and are ready to take on any risks or anything—bold. You are a bit introverted also…”
That was Solara’s voice, but I heard somebody else whispering, “Moonlight…” Did Joan hear these weird whispers? I started to breathe slowly, my heart began thumping, I heard the beats in my ears.
I wake up and face my head around everyone around me. Luna and Solara. Solara smiled, “You are like my sister… Luna will mentor you.”
Luna sighed softly before facing me again, “Follow me… Moonlight.”
I was following her over to the dorm room, when I entered it, I only saw one girl. “Since Moonlight’s are exceedingly rare. There is barely anyone in this dorm. Meaning that you have enough space. Enjoy.”
Before she left, she then said. “Also, Moonlight is receiving weird visions on full moon. Tomorrow is full moon when your powers are mostly active, so we will be training at night.”
<><><><>
It was the next day; I was eating dinner. I was sitting next to other fellow moonlights—no I was sitting next to this incredibly quiet girl.
Hello, I am Rosy. What is your name?” I ask.
The quiet girl then said, “Tranquilo…”
“Oh! Hello Tranquilo!” I said, the girl then looked at me confused.
“Mi nombre es Adriana!” The girl frowned at me before turning back to her book.
“Oh! Hi… Adriana!” I speak.
She looked at me again and frowned more. “Hola.”
Luna then walked towards me and pulled my arm, “C’mon Rosy, it is time for training. Es hora de irse, Adriana!”
Adriana nodded and got up. We walked outside and saw the full moon. I always loved the full moon…
We were then training I got the moves quickly—but Adriana did not.
“Adri! It is all right,” Adriana looked at me and smiled.
“Thanks,” She said, “And yeah I know English too.”
We walked back inside… I noticed the sky was brighter than usual. And noticed that there was stuff in the sky, it is nothing.
<><><><>
The night was getting colder, the summer was also getting colder. The golden flowers that bloomed had just died. And the golden gates to the academy were rusted and brown.
A young shapeshifter appeared out of nowhere and decided to destroy the entire place for good…
<><><><>
We had four WHOLE months of training; the flowers began to die. And the Summer began to become colder.
I had a weird vision two weeks ago, during the night of the full moon. I never told anyone but my brother, you might think it is weird I did not tell my mentor. But she seems to not know a lot about visions to be honest.
I was here sitting down in the meeting room, Luna, Solara, and the other masters were standing on the stage and were looking down onto us. “We have chosen a few children to stop HELP us stop this… we know that the banished Shapeshifting, Falerii, has caused this.”
Luna stepped up and said, “And those children are… Adriana, Joan, Rosy, and Victoria.”
Luna then told us to come up here, I then grabbed Luna and told her to come with me for a second.
We entered a small room. Luna asked, “What do you need to talk about?”
“A-A vision!” I say nervously. Luna sighs and then looks at me.
“What was it about?”
“I should’ve told you, but I couldn’t!” I say, “I thought I could handle it, but it is meaning was so strong! Falerii is seeking revenge for her banishment! She will flood the place with darkness intel everyone is gone…”
Luna exclaims and stands up, “You should have told me! We would have prepared!”
“I-I, thought I could handle this myself!”
Luna looks at me before exiting the room, “A good Moonlight would never keep harmful secrets—never betray! You were not meant to be a Moonlight; you were not meant to be here…”
She left the room, slamming the door. I stood in the corner trying to cry all my fears out. She is right! I was never meant to be here… All my cousins were right…
But they are not, A voice said.
“What do you mean voice?” I said looking around. I felt so crazy after the voice replied.
You were forced into living with them, I have been following you all your life. The voice sounded so calm, so sweet also.
“But everyone said I’m such a failure!” I spoke.
Remember those dreams before you visited this realm? The voice said.
It sounded just like my mother… “Are you mother?”
Yes… I love you so much! You are related to a magical family—me! The voice said, she appeared as a glowing figure I walk to her and touch her hand
Know I love you with all my heart, Falerii is waiting for you… My mom’s voice said, the figure disappeared.
I walk outside and walk to Falerii who looked at me with curiosity. “Hello foolish child!”
I look at her, “You are right, I am foolish.”
Falerii smiles, “I am right? Usually, those people would start insulting me… but you? Your different…”
“Different…?” I question, she twirls her hair around before walking to me.
“Yes, you're different… you are a Starlight Daughter…” She says, then snickers.
“Why do you want to destroy the school?”
Falerii sighs and then said, “I never wanted to destroy the school. I suppose I can tell you the story, I was a young girl, about your age. I fell down a well and fell into a pile of leaves and flowers. I found the academy and two people walked out… Gabriella and Fiona. Sisters. I was mentored by Fiona, the quietest sister, she then got mad at me when I did not tell her I had a vision about a darkness surrounding the school… I tried to save the school—but Fiona claimed I was the one…”
“So… why was I brought here?” I ask, “Why are our stories so similar?”
“I was your mother’s sister…” Falerii says, “And I promised your mother that I’d protect you.”
Falerii’s chestnut brown hair transformed into long locks of beautiful red hair as she walked to me. “I am your second aunt… That is where your hair, and your personality came from.”
Suddenly Luna and Solara walked out of the school. “Falerii! Why are you holding the hands of Rosy?”
“Behind you!” Falerii yells as a new figure appears behind Luna and Solara.
Falerii then exclaims, “That is the person who caused it! Not me!”
I quickly use my powers to stop the person. It was Crimson, the evil witch. I continued trying to stop her.
“Haha!” Crimson laughs manically, “Young Rosy can’t stop me!”
I make a full ball of moonlight and launch it towards Crimson before she can launch her powers towards me.
She falls to the ground and disappears, “She is not gone.” Falerii said, “And she WILL come back, you need to return home. We will call you back when we need you.”
My brother stands next to me and said, “You are braver than me, I love you sister.”
Everything darkened once more, and we were being pulled out of the well by our cousins.
“Come on Sephanie! Mom is not happy we pushed them down the well, help us now!” Daisy said.
Sephanie helps pull us out and we walked back inside. My aunt walks over to me and asks, “Are you alright?”
“Yes!” I say, hugging her tightly.
Sephanie walks over to me and then apologizes, “I’m sorry for pushing you down the well!”
“I’m sorry for pushing you down the staircase.” I speak. I know I did not do that, but I will apologize anyway.
Aunt walks over to me and says, “So you did push Sephanie downstairs!”
Sephanie gulps before looking back to her mom and said, “Actually… I lied!”
Her mother screamed at her loudly before making her clean her room.
It was nighttime, I woke up to the sound of screaming outside. I got scared, but the only creepy thing was that it sounded so odd…
The End… Or is it?
(word count: 2163)
Total Words : 2,499
Points : 3500