Critique for Alia

222 words! it's a bit disjointed bc it was done elsewhere

overally i think the context was done really well i wasn't particularly confused by anything, but i think the only think i'd say is that there could be a tiny bit more of worldbuilding in the first portion of the story? because up until the point when the ley line was mentioned the fic reads a lot like real-fi - which isn't a bad thing, but i feel like that might be helpful for you to know

ooh this is a nice bit of context

hmm yeah i kinda like “the moon and sun and stars” a bit better
but this works!

how does adam look at himself

wait what's this
oops sorry looks like this is a real thing i wasn't familiar with this that's why, sorry!
maybe more description of the setting would help though

okay so the thing is i didn't realize ronan and gansey were that close - like i know you had the first intro snippet but up until this point i haven't really seen their relationship be developed that much
but! to be fair we're less than halfway(?) through the fic

is this like their nonverbal interactions put into words? that's cool!

this dream sequence works super well though!!

i'm pretty sure this is referring to adam judging from the context but it can be a bit unclear