⇾ Critique for Bellalalalala <3 ⚘

{The night was dark, black mixing with the navy blues and deep purples of the Milky Way. It was beautiful. }

^ I adore this description!! <33

{This was her favorite time, the quiet of the night brought a little peace to her normally loud and intrusive thoughts.}

Even more amazing description <33 You get a little bit on insight into Meryn's character here and it just… yes XD <3

{veil of womanly meekness and political politeness to show her true self.}

Stop being so amazing Bella sdjfhkdjsfh

{“A penny for your thoughts?” said a warm voice by her elbow.}

….I love him already.

{she scolded herself for not noticing his presence.}

I might add the word ‘earlier’, but that's just me ^^

{“What do you want?” She hissed instead,}

Punctuation issues… XD - “ ”What do you want?“ she hissed instead. ” I think the word ‘instead’ feels a little unnecessary, but if you'd like to keep it there it works just as well ^^

{“I haven’t seen you in months, feels odd.”}

Same thing here- “… seen you in months. Feels odd.”

{Fabian prickled visibly, something she’d rarely seen him do. “Quite the contrary, I’m so used to having to swoop in and save you every couple of weeks from every new danger that it’s become a habit. I’m impressed you managed to keep yourself alive without me there.” he grinned, that reckless renegade smile that made Meryn’s heart flutter. }

I'M IN LOVE

{She coughed, “I can save myself thank you very much. I don’t need a knight in shining armor, I’m quite capable.”
“I’m beginning to think the only thing that keeps you alive is your sheer stubbornness.” He laughed, it was a deep yet musical sound.}

I ADORE EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS
I LOVE THE MC
I LOVE THE LOVE INTEREST
I'M IN LOVE, BELLA, I'M IN LOVE

{Fabian quieted, a rare frown creasing his brow. His unruly blonde hair blew into his eyes and she resisted the sudden urge to tuck it back.}

STOP
STOP
STOP
I'M ALREADY DEAD YOU DON'T HAVE TO K!LL ME FURTHER

{Mere minutes passed, although it felt like hours for them both until Meryn finally broke the quiet.}

I might change the wording here to “Only a few minutes had passed, but it felt like hours before Meryn broke the quiet”. It just flows better ^^

{So I used to talk to the stars, it's silly I know,}

Maybe change to- “So I used to talk to the stars. It's silly, I know”, and maybe add her laughing at herself a little? I feel like it's a nice little addition since she's already noting that she knows it sounds silly.

{“I'm naming the stars in the sky after you,” he said, turning to her. His voice was barely above a whisper and that same smile flickered over his lips, as he reached out and took a lock of Meryn’s hair, twisting it around his finger.
She thought she knew better, this was Fabian Thatcher, after all, the lying, sneaking, and clever privateer who was always there when she was at her worst. But she couldn’t stop the feeling of butterflies in her stomach, or the thudding of her heart in her chest. She should have pushed him away, but she couldn’t. Her feet were rooted to the spot. All she could do was stare back into those jewel-like eyes and see herself reflected in them.}

I AM DECEASED

{her eyes wide as her thoughts shuttered to a halt.}

The wording of “shuttered” here feels a little weird…

{His hand strayed to her cheek, where he traced the line of her stubborn jaw. The survival instincts in Meryn that had kept her alive and sane throughout her life were screaming at her to pull away. This won’t end well, they told her. He’ll leave you high and dry back on land, take his reward, and leave. I’ll never see him again. This is a game to him. }

BELLA YOU KILLED ME
HOW COULD YOU
I'M A SOBBING DEAD MESS ON THE FLOOR

{Haven't you always craved a true adventure? }

(ok I swear I'll get through this part without screaming)

I adore the character development in this sentence. It helps add so much to their story and I… it's just amazing <3

{same silly grin reflected on the other's face.}

Hehehehehehehehe <3

{These guys are so cute I'm just gonna use them in a ton of dailies lol}

YES DO IT

As a whole, it's full of great description. My only real nitpick is that the pacing feels kind of wrong. If there's a way to lengthen the piece and give a little more time or conversation or backstory before they start embracing, I think it would enhance the reader's experience a little more.
But also…
AGH I LOVE IT
“Penny for your thoughts?” is amazing
Anyway I'll be making my way to the graveyard now - see you there ^^

(318 words of critique)